Types of Boyfriends II

The Despo

This type of boyfriend is more common that I want them to be (yes the world revolves around me darling, now get lost). This is the type that just always has to be in a relationship. It’s a necessity, apart from that many of them get committed not for psychological gains but for physical ones. Yes, he’s that kind of the boyfriend who would be there when you cry just because you are an easy target to get physical with. See such a sweet boyfriend he is. Speaking of sweet, they are also the creative geniuses who use original nicknames like baby, darling etc in their every sentence. I only wish I was this original and creative..
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The Restrictor

Oh he is a hunk you all ladies know… Still confused? Let me give you a hint, “Who was that?”, “I don’t want you to talk to that guy again!”, “Don’t eat junk food.”  “Will you stop watching porn?” (Oh wait sorry did I reveal your secret? My bad.) Yes he is that kind who thinks he is so awesome and perfect that he owns the girl he is dating. Anything she does must first be presented before him, for approval. OMG, how masculine he is… Makes me just want to barf all over the girl who takes that crap.

The Romantic

This is the best type of boyfriend out there. Every girl dreams about this knight in shining armor, riding on a mule and rushing to woo her off her feet just so she can get the feeling that she is oh so slim. He is the guy who would sing Shakespeare just so his girl can go all “ahhh”. Oh there is just one little, tiny detail about him that I forgot to mention: He doesn’t exist.

The Dude

Yo, this is the most “Mummy Daddy Kid” out there. A girlfriend is more of a status symbol for her rather than someone to share his time and life with. Yes, he is the type who wears Levi’s jeans, Ray ban shades and carries a Versace wallet making peace signs with his hands acting like the “coolest” loser on earth. Ah, the irony of the fact is that girls actually like this kind for their epic coolness… Seriously I know how cool it is to wear shades at night, but you know what would be more cooler? Holding a white stick while wearing the shades!

The Gifted

Oh yes, these type of men think they are God’s gift to women and must share their wealth with the whole womanhood. They think they are the sole incarnation of Romeo, Shakespeare just forgot to mention them as the inspiration. To them cheating on a girl is oh so natural, just like picking their nose in public and thinking it’s sexy. All I can say to them is, “Please, do me a favor and buy something known as a mirror. Thank you.”

The Hangouter

This type of a boyfriend has a girlfriend for God knows what reason. They are the ones that hang out with their friends all day long, having fun. The only private time their girlfriends can get with them is the brief moment in which they make up an excuse why they can’t talk to her. They are like glorious, rich mice which are found at every café you can imagine. Seriously, if you are dating such a guy my advice is getting a brain transplant asap, thank you.

The Gay

Oh this is the best kind of boyfriends out there. They aren’t gay or homosexual but frankly when trouble comes they run away faster than a speeding bullet… Just in the opposite direction. They for some reason just love rainbow colors along with bright colors. Yes, I am sure they aren’t gay. They would discuss every romantic chick flick with you and their cell phones would always have wallpapers of love and being together. They love long walks and to give more compliments to their guy friends than to the girl they are dating… YES GOD DAMN IT, THEY AREN’T GAY AND I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD NOW BOW DOWN TO ME!

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