New Outlet? Home? Blog? Giant pile of mess.

Posted in Uncategorized on July 20, 2018 by Dev!l

For some unnamed reason, I have migrated to Instagram and can be found on: wissenshaftler



Posted in Uncategorized on July 2, 2018 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: This may very well be my last post on this platform. A friend did suggest I move to instagram but I am at a point in my life where I am not comfortable sharing myself with the world anymore. Excuse any mistakes in grammar, formatting and flow of thought in the following post as it was done on a cellphone.

They say the first thing you forget about someone is the sound of their voice however I always found this to be quite puzzling because to me the first thing I forget is the way a person made me feel. That’s not to say that I forget completely but the memory of the exact way I felt around them escapes me. For you see, there’s a whole lot of emotions that we forget when we meet someone. there is not just joy it is also the feeling of curiosity, of anticipation, of fear, of glee, and so much more combined in an allegant mixture but at the end of the day when that person is gone, the only thing we do remember is if that person made us feel happy or sad. the whole spectrum of emotions is just gone and we’re only left with a few feelings. It’s like when you decolourise a picture and all the colorful details you once saw in the picture are just gone. Of course this does not mean that the black and white picture doesnt retain its beauty but there is always something missing, something that I am not comfortable in omitting out when remembering a person. The sad part is that all of this happens in what seems like an instant, more or less. It doesn’t take long for us to forget how exactly we felt and lately I’ve been going through that. I have truly forgotten the spectrum of emotions I once experinced in the company of the people I have lost. Instead I often find binarized emotions attached with my memories. Then there are those whose voice I have forgotten. The way they laughed, to the way they whispered, it is all but a vague recollection. It is quite saddening to come to the realization that somehow one person who was close to me and whom I held dear in my heart has become so inconsequential that I can’t remember how exactly I felt around them, or what their voice sounded like. However, I do remember their face and all that they taught me, but one day even the memory of their looks may fade as well. I know I can always look at pictures to remind myself of how they looked like but to me that just seems like cheating on the memory of that person as I am using an external aid to recollect moments I once thought I will never forget. That I guess is just a part of life but there is something that will always remain with me. The importance of the time I was given to spend with them, the values that were passed onto me and helped shape me in becoming who I am today. I guess that is all I can do because that is what I expect people to remember of me when I am gone and nothing but a digitzed ghost remains in my stead. I nonetheless still want to apologize to all those whose true memory I have betrayed, those who made me feel so much just by varying pitch in their now forgotten voice, those whose looks escape my recollection. I truly and deeply am sorry. I wish one day we may meet again, in another realm of existence and I can once again remember everything about you.