Archive for June, 2009

Memorable Compliments

Posted in Articles on June 24, 2009 by Dev!l

Well, as the caption suggests this is one article in which I will try to include every compliment I have ever received. Now, by compliment I don’t mean the “Hey you’re looking beautiful” etc but I mean those words of others that they have said about me to others or to me that have been engraved upon my mind, heart and soul. I could go on and on into boring explanations of what I think is a compliment to me but then I would be digressing from the topic. So, here goes and as always in brackets are the things I really thought of the happenings.

Compliment 1

Compliment by: Astha Mehta

“One funny joker he is. Wonder what is tucked up inside behind him..”

(Thank you for calling me a joker ^^ and what I have tucked up behind anything is none of your business so your just wasting a good wonder kiddo :P)

Compliment 2

Compliment by: Muhammad Usman Khan

“You are so mean.”

(Thank you, I feel so happy reading this over and over again:P it means I must be doing something right:P)

Compliment 3

Compliment by: Almost every other girl

“Rude obnoxious jerk”

(Now tell me isn’t this the best one of them all?:P )

Compliment 4

Compliment by: My English Teacher

“Ah, of course you, the contemporary genius, are done with your paper I see.”

(XD, lol this one is just for fun. Don’t consider it as a compliment.)

Compliment 5

Compliment by: My Communication Skills Teacher

“Waleed, you seem like that sort of person who does not love anything”

(You have no idea what this means to me:P It means I look exactly the way I want.)

Compliment 6

Compliment by: My Communication Skills Teacher

“You have a very strong personality.”

(Uh, I know I am getting a little cocky but hey everyone praises their own self so why can’t I do it x.x)

Compliment 7

Compliment by: Farhan Zeb (most recent) and many other of my friends

“Tun kabhi nae sudhray ga.”

(who waleed hi kaya jo sudhar jaye :P)

Compliment 8

Compliment by: Arfat Zafar Rathore

“Beghairat hai, is ko joh marzi keh lo is ki gherat nae jagnay wali.”

(Khalid… Waleed Khalid … Professional Beghairat)

Compliment 9

Compliment by: Unnamed

“I wish you would just die”

(How everyone wishes the same thing 😛 but it ain’t happening :P)

Compliment 10

Compliment by: Muhammed Usman Khan

“Hp, you are a jerk!”

(The funny thing, he says that to me almost every week xD)

Compliment 11

Compliment by: Unnamed

“I hate you!”

(Yes, I know you have an idea who says that but ah well I didn’t name anyone because the list would be too long xD)

Compliment 12

Compliment Ghania Syed

“I loathe you too.”

(Yes I said I loathe you first xD)

Compliment 13

Compliment by: Unnamed

“You existence is nothing but a burden…”

(This quote is kind of translated but ah well xD watch out I’ll crush you with my weight XD)

Compliment 14

Compliment by: Unnamed

“I love you.”

(Uh, no it ain’t the one you are thinking of dumb ass xD)

Compliment 15

Compliment by: Myself

“Keep moving forward even if you have to crawl on all fours…”

(Yes! I do talk to myself 😛 and yes I talk to the walls to 😛 any problem?:P)

P.S. This post might be updated on regular intervals as i find or remember some other compliments…

Living Life

Posted in Articles on June 6, 2009 by Dev!l

Life… state of functional activity and continual change peculiar to organized matter and especially to the portion of it constituting an animal or plant before death, animate existence, being alive… This is how Oxford dictionary defines life. Now, I am not a person who knows a lot of fancy words so to me this definition sounds really broke… to me life is the cycle from birth to death, the ever changing wretched nightmare or the sweet dream a person or an object goes through until his body medically ceases to exist…

That was what I thought of life… now the topic is living life… funnily enough Oxford dictionary just defines living as to be just alive. Imagine just breathing, eating and staying alive is called living your life. Technically speaking this is true but morally speaking I always thought there always was more to life than to just waking up each day, following the same routine and then finally one day collapsing to the ground so that people who hated you your entire life or those who just simply didn’t bothered with your existence could gather around you and try to find something nice to say about you at your eulogy… Oh wait, I am sorry, where are my manners I meant to describe your life i.e. you clinging on to a selfish existence, trying to portray what you are not and crushing others in order to obtain your heart’s desires… Now, I know almost everyone who reads this would be like “NO! We are not like that…” well one way or the other the people are slowly losing the true meaning of how to actually LIVE THEIR LIFES and turning into the above described monsters! Not to sound too harsh but this is exactly how we do live our lives… Selfishly… Even I do that sometimes. Now I am not saying everyone lives their life this way, I am sure there are deviations and exceptions to everything and there are people out there who truly live their life. The people, who are happy in any and every situation. Those who live to love and love to live. Those who live according to their own wishes and not the wishes of others, those who just simply make others happy by their words and acts… Now those people KNOW how to live their lives!

Now these people I speak of, they sound really fictional now a days; I am aware of that fact. I am even aware of the fact that my talk is not only out of sort but also boring and bookish. Maybe but they say every coin has two sides, so does my talk. Now what does living your life mean? Frankly I can just quote some old people and be done with this, I mean I told you how we are living these days, all I need to do now is just quote some wise ancient quotes and be done with it but I have learnt through experience that people now a days live on the fast track and quotes are something that are just mere meaningless pieces of gibberish to them. For once I just want to come out of the shell I have created around myself to tell how I live my life. What I think living life is all about… and you know what? This is precisely what I am going to do without caring for the fact that how cryptic and stupid it sounds.

Living life… living life is about waking up every morning with a smile… it’s about thinking of doing something new everyday, as to not to be monotonous. It’s about telling each person important in your life everyday that you care for them and love them with all your heart by your actions or by your words. It’s about helping others, making others happy and somewhere between those processes finding your own happiness. It’s about just hugging your mom and dad for trivial reasons and just telling them how great they are. It’s about enjoying little things that come your way and always expecting the worst. It’s about just stopping to smell the roses along your path and not caring how weird you look. It’s about becoming true to your own self. It’s about being happy with what you have and being thankful for it every moment of your life. It’s about waking up from a nightmare with a flash but then having the courage to sleep again. It’s about staring at the sky and pondering on your existence and the fact where you are from and where you are heading. It’s about spending quality time with friends and laughing at every small, silly thing just because you feel like it. It’s about walking in a storm with a friend, having your eyes closed to your favorite restaurant, only to find it closed and just standing in front of the restaurant laughing your hearts out at your situation. It’s about thinking of the people you love and imagining about them whenever you get the chance. It’s about helping any stranger in need just because he needed it. It’s about not expecting anything in return for your actions and living to give. It’s about chasing your dreams with vigor but always remembering to stop if your dreams are going to crush someone else’s. It’s about walking in the rain singing your favorite song over and over again. It’s about asking what have I given to this land instead of asking what has this land given me. It’s about living each day like it may be your last yet always planning for tomorrow. It’s about hoping for the best yet planning for the worst. It’s about writing an article just because your friend asked you to. It’s about living your life so you have nothing to regret. It’s about being able to look back at your life and having the courage to smile at your mistakes and proudly being able to say that you learnt your lessons and you have no regrets to what you did. It’s about forgiving and forgetting every bad thing or fights you get into. It’s about holding no grudges and always being the first one to let go of anger. It’s about being able to smile in even the tensest situations just so others don’t get tensed due to you. It’s just about living in the MOMENT, learning from it and remembering it forever in your heart with no regrets.

This is how I aspire to live my life… this is how I want to see people living their lives… this is what living life is all about to me…

An Interview with MUK

Posted in Interviews on June 2, 2009 by Dev!l

(WARNING: THIS INTERVIEW IS RATED 16 FOR THE USE OF EXCESSIVE ABUSES AND MENTION TO LADIES AND GENTS UNDERGARMENTS… READING DISCRETION IS ADVISED BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ IT THEN GO AHEAD BECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU IS THAT INNOCENT 😛 Oh and this interview is also rated B due to the fact that its extremely boring!!)

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame and Monsieurs, Smee again… Now yes I know this is going to be one boring interview but just deal with it… its not like you have anything better to do… if you did then I don’t think you will be here wasting your time reading this! So, today the person who is going to bore me to death is Mr. Usman Khan.

Me: Asslam o Allikum (Oh brother here we go again -.-‘)

Muk: Waleikum salam

Me: Your name please…

Muk: Usman Khan

Me: Lets get one thing clear, when I ask you your name it means it’s for the audience and not for me, I already know your name so you just can’t go around changing it you dumb shit! Now what is your full name?

Muk: Muhammad Usman Khan

Me: Now, that’s better ^^ Now what do your friends call you as?

Muk: usman… muk *Dramatic pause* and yea…there another…mani (wow, again this is an interview not a crummy soap opera. Seriously, the idiots I have to interview!)

Me: Well, where there are friends there are enemies… what do your enemies call you?

Muk: well….usman …”KHHan”

Me: *yawning with interest* So, who are these enemies?

Muk: well…latest reports confirm that waby hates me… (wow, thank you for sharing that with us… Mr. George Loserton -.-‘)

Me: So why does she hate you?

Muk: She found out I was impotent.

Me: *falls of his chair…* What the hell? You are impotent?

Muk: Yes, I am pretty impotent.

Me: When did you come to know?

Muk: When she stole my underwear. (ME = o.o)

Me: Uhhh… Not to interfere in your personal life but why did she do that?

Muk: I kiss(ed) the sausage. (Hey, this is a family show!… oh wait it isn’t continue :P)

Me: What sausage?

Muk: The one on the underwear.

Me: Wow, fancy underwear… no wonder it must be a gift.

Muk: Yes.

Me: Who gave it to you?

Muk: Salman and Ghania.

Me: That all or did waby say something to you too when she stole your fancy underwear?

Muk: Yes.

Me: What?

Muk: “usman …”KHHan” You don’t even deserve my [beep].”

Me: Uh… On second thought… I don’t wish to investigate this matter any more.

Muk: *Whispers* Do you like naughty stuff?

Me: Don’t make me call security bub… you are here to give an interview so just give it and go!

Muk: *starts singing* tera naam [beep] par likhker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *gets up in disgust* I think I need a break! (Before you people start assuming, the lyrics are tera naam HATHELI per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun =P)

—–

*Me comes back after puking a couple of times, washing his eyes, face and only due to the fact that I have to finish what I started… oh and after confirming that muk doesn’t have my name imprinted on his hand!!!!*

Me: Ok, so I hope the break cleared your head.

Muk: Yes.

Me: So, care to share some incident of your life that left a deep impact on your life?

Muk: oh yea….well moh offered a [beep] if I contributed 50 rs.

Me: Uh… So did you finish it?

Muk: well…no, it was….a big one you know

Me: So you mean to say you couldn’t finish one [beep]? (Yes, I know you have a dirty mind =P)

Muk: Yes. It was so hard to push it down my throat. (Now just put zinger[the original word] in place of the beep and then read it again… 😛 Now, do you see what a dirty mind do you have?)

Me: Wow princess… you can’t even eat one zinger…

Muk: I am impotent.

Me: Yes, how can I forget? So tell me… how many girl friends do you have?

Muk: 2.5

Me: Excuse me? 2.5? Name them please.

Muk: Komal, Ghania and Bryan Adams.

Me: Uh, who’s the 0.5?

Muk: Bryan Adams.

Me: Write so care to describe them?

Muk: Well… they are… hot…spicy…juicy…desperate with extra cheese toppings.

Me: No no no… Sorry lord I asked him that question… I didn’t need those visuals… So, since we are talking about girls… how would you describe your ideal girl?

Muk: Ghania. (true love o.o)

Me: seriously you are slower than a bunch of turtles stampeding through peanut butter mate… Describe Ghania.

Muk: Cute…Honest…Caring (This one is the truth!)

Me: So what attracted you to her in the first place?

Muk: She is a geek.

Me: Wow, you are boring me you know that?

Muk: Yes.

Me: So how old are you?

Muk: well…how old do you want me to be? (Original dialogue)

Me: Look mate, I am a straight guy so stop freaking hitting on me!

Muk: *sad puppy face* 19

Me: And in these 19 years have u accomplished something worth talking about?

Muk: I wait(ed) a min.

Me: Uh… for what?

Muk: kissy from Ghania.

Me: So, care to tell some interesting fact about yourself?

Muk: m wearing….a dress pant n a dress shirt.

Me: Yes, I can see that you dumb shit… anything else?

Muk: ghania is the first girl to kiss me.

Me: *dozing off with boredom…* uh right, so tell me what your life ambition is?

Muk: I wanna buy a vest and a baba

Me: A baba? As in an old man?

Muk: Yes.

Me: Why the hell do you want an old man?

Muk: well….generally it is believed that they aren’t CHEAP…..but I have found that at least they are CHEAPER than gals….

Me: EWW… you disgust me to the core… but since we are at the last let me just ask you some random things. Mughees in his underwear or Mohsin in leaves?

Muk: Mohsin in leaves, I like beauty in raw natural form (True dialogue)

Me: Right, before we go, you used some difficult words so what dictionary would you suggest our users?

Muk: well…oxford is good for English and feroz ul lugat for English (True Dialogue… Feroz ul Lughat is for URDU YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT! And you write! Seriously -.-‘)

Me: Well thank you for boring me… Now you can leave…

Muk: *grabs the mike and starts singing* tera naam hatheli per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *calls security*

Muk:*screams as the security guard drag him away* this was for you… komal, mohsin, salman and my love ghania.

Me: Well, first of all I am really sorry folks to have made you go through this boring interview… but ah well… that’s all, your torture ends here. Goodbye and next time hopefully I will be back with a good interview.