An Interview with MUK

(WARNING: THIS INTERVIEW IS RATED 16 FOR THE USE OF EXCESSIVE ABUSES AND MENTION TO LADIES AND GENTS UNDERGARMENTS… READING DISCRETION IS ADVISED BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ IT THEN GO AHEAD BECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU IS THAT INNOCENT 😛 Oh and this interview is also rated B due to the fact that its extremely boring!!)

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame and Monsieurs, Smee again… Now yes I know this is going to be one boring interview but just deal with it… its not like you have anything better to do… if you did then I don’t think you will be here wasting your time reading this! So, today the person who is going to bore me to death is Mr. Usman Khan.

Me: Asslam o Allikum (Oh brother here we go again -.-‘)

Muk: Waleikum salam

Me: Your name please…

Muk: Usman Khan

Me: Lets get one thing clear, when I ask you your name it means it’s for the audience and not for me, I already know your name so you just can’t go around changing it you dumb shit! Now what is your full name?

Muk: Muhammad Usman Khan

Me: Now, that’s better ^^ Now what do your friends call you as?

Muk: usman… muk *Dramatic pause* and yea…there another…mani (wow, again this is an interview not a crummy soap opera. Seriously, the idiots I have to interview!)

Me: Well, where there are friends there are enemies… what do your enemies call you?

Muk: well….usman …”KHHan”

Me: *yawning with interest* So, who are these enemies?

Muk: well…latest reports confirm that waby hates me… (wow, thank you for sharing that with us… Mr. George Loserton -.-‘)

Me: So why does she hate you?

Muk: She found out I was impotent.

Me: *falls of his chair…* What the hell? You are impotent?

Muk: Yes, I am pretty impotent.

Me: When did you come to know?

Muk: When she stole my underwear. (ME = o.o)

Me: Uhhh… Not to interfere in your personal life but why did she do that?

Muk: I kiss(ed) the sausage. (Hey, this is a family show!… oh wait it isn’t continue :P)

Me: What sausage?

Muk: The one on the underwear.

Me: Wow, fancy underwear… no wonder it must be a gift.

Muk: Yes.

Me: Who gave it to you?

Muk: Salman and Ghania.

Me: That all or did waby say something to you too when she stole your fancy underwear?

Muk: Yes.

Me: What?

Muk: “usman …”KHHan” You don’t even deserve my [beep].”

Me: Uh… On second thought… I don’t wish to investigate this matter any more.

Muk: *Whispers* Do you like naughty stuff?

Me: Don’t make me call security bub… you are here to give an interview so just give it and go!

Muk: *starts singing* tera naam [beep] par likhker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *gets up in disgust* I think I need a break! (Before you people start assuming, the lyrics are tera naam HATHELI per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun =P)

—–

*Me comes back after puking a couple of times, washing his eyes, face and only due to the fact that I have to finish what I started… oh and after confirming that muk doesn’t have my name imprinted on his hand!!!!*

Me: Ok, so I hope the break cleared your head.

Muk: Yes.

Me: So, care to share some incident of your life that left a deep impact on your life?

Muk: oh yea….well moh offered a [beep] if I contributed 50 rs.

Me: Uh… So did you finish it?

Muk: well…no, it was….a big one you know

Me: So you mean to say you couldn’t finish one [beep]? (Yes, I know you have a dirty mind =P)

Muk: Yes. It was so hard to push it down my throat. (Now just put zinger[the original word] in place of the beep and then read it again… 😛 Now, do you see what a dirty mind do you have?)

Me: Wow princess… you can’t even eat one zinger…

Muk: I am impotent.

Me: Yes, how can I forget? So tell me… how many girl friends do you have?

Muk: 2.5

Me: Excuse me? 2.5? Name them please.

Muk: Komal, Ghania and Bryan Adams.

Me: Uh, who’s the 0.5?

Muk: Bryan Adams.

Me: Write so care to describe them?

Muk: Well… they are… hot…spicy…juicy…desperate with extra cheese toppings.

Me: No no no… Sorry lord I asked him that question… I didn’t need those visuals… So, since we are talking about girls… how would you describe your ideal girl?

Muk: Ghania. (true love o.o)

Me: seriously you are slower than a bunch of turtles stampeding through peanut butter mate… Describe Ghania.

Muk: Cute…Honest…Caring (This one is the truth!)

Me: So what attracted you to her in the first place?

Muk: She is a geek.

Me: Wow, you are boring me you know that?

Muk: Yes.

Me: So how old are you?

Muk: well…how old do you want me to be? (Original dialogue)

Me: Look mate, I am a straight guy so stop freaking hitting on me!

Muk: *sad puppy face* 19

Me: And in these 19 years have u accomplished something worth talking about?

Muk: I wait(ed) a min.

Me: Uh… for what?

Muk: kissy from Ghania.

Me: So, care to tell some interesting fact about yourself?

Muk: m wearing….a dress pant n a dress shirt.

Me: Yes, I can see that you dumb shit… anything else?

Muk: ghania is the first girl to kiss me.

Me: *dozing off with boredom…* uh right, so tell me what your life ambition is?

Muk: I wanna buy a vest and a baba

Me: A baba? As in an old man?

Muk: Yes.

Me: Why the hell do you want an old man?

Muk: well….generally it is believed that they aren’t CHEAP…..but I have found that at least they are CHEAPER than gals….

Me: EWW… you disgust me to the core… but since we are at the last let me just ask you some random things. Mughees in his underwear or Mohsin in leaves?

Muk: Mohsin in leaves, I like beauty in raw natural form (True dialogue)

Me: Right, before we go, you used some difficult words so what dictionary would you suggest our users?

Muk: well…oxford is good for English and feroz ul lugat for English (True Dialogue… Feroz ul Lughat is for URDU YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT! And you write! Seriously -.-‘)

Me: Well thank you for boring me… Now you can leave…

Muk: *grabs the mike and starts singing* tera naam hatheli per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *calls security*

Muk:*screams as the security guard drag him away* this was for you… komal, mohsin, salman and my love ghania.

Me: Well, first of all I am really sorry folks to have made you go through this boring interview… but ah well… that’s all, your torture ends here. Goodbye and next time hopefully I will be back with a good interview.

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20 Responses to “An Interview with MUK”

  1. Lol, ghania would be so pissed off xP You sure ventured into the forbidden territories xP

  2. ghania Says:

    DIE DIE DIE WHALOOO!!! 😡 or mayb id rather kill u myself!!

  3. ghania Says:

    @ anas… u sure got that ryt!!!

  4. wow tht was fun 😛

  5. mughees Says:

    waleed 😛 i want to see the original thing though

  6. Ashar Says:

    Yea That Was Fun…And Mughy I Am Wid U 😛 We Want To See The Original THing 😛

  7. Kashif Says:

    uh!!??o_o …. i gota sy … mughees’s interview was a lot better thn dat x_X … hp lost his “touch” XD

  8. i HAVE to admit waleed ur a ‘jerk’ anyway..!!!

  9. Dev!l Says:

    @kashif seriously ager tun original dekhta to yeh na ketha -.-‘ i was literally drinking strong black coffee to keep myself from falling asleep -.-‘
    @muk yea i know 😛
    @mughy net pay jab milay ga tab le lain xD

  10. ghania Says:

    lil kid hnn *glares* y dont u let me take ur interview? *evil smirk*

    • Dev!l Says:

      sure u take mine and ill take yours 😛 then ill even publish myn online for everyone to see 😛 *evil grin*

  11. weeee that was fun LMAO

  12. you have great interviewing skills! LOL. do you still interview pple?

  13. Sure lets set up some date and time after the coming tuesday 😛

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