An Interview with MUK


Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame and Monsieurs, Smee again… Now yes I know this is going to be one boring interview but just deal with it… its not like you have anything better to do… if you did then I don’t think you will be here wasting your time reading this! So, today the person who is going to bore me to death is Mr. Usman Khan.

Me: Asslam o Allikum (Oh brother here we go again -.-‘)

Muk: Waleikum salam

Me: Your name please…

Muk: Usman Khan

Me: Lets get one thing clear, when I ask you your name it means it’s for the audience and not for me, I already know your name so you just can’t go around changing it you dumb shit! Now what is your full name?

Muk: Muhammad Usman Khan

Me: Now, that’s better ^^ Now what do your friends call you as?

Muk: usman… muk *Dramatic pause* and yea…there another…mani (wow, again this is an interview not a crummy soap opera. Seriously, the idiots I have to interview!)

Me: Well, where there are friends there are enemies… what do your enemies call you?

Muk: well….usman …”KHHan”

Me: *yawning with interest* So, who are these enemies?

Muk: well…latest reports confirm that waby hates me… (wow, thank you for sharing that with us… Mr. George Loserton -.-‘)

Me: So why does she hate you?

Muk: She found out I was impotent.

Me: *falls of his chair…* What the hell? You are impotent?

Muk: Yes, I am pretty impotent.

Me: When did you come to know?

Muk: When she stole my underwear. (ME = o.o)

Me: Uhhh… Not to interfere in your personal life but why did she do that?

Muk: I kiss(ed) the sausage. (Hey, this is a family show!… oh wait it isn’t continue :P)

Me: What sausage?

Muk: The one on the underwear.

Me: Wow, fancy underwear… no wonder it must be a gift.

Muk: Yes.

Me: Who gave it to you?

Muk: Salman and Ghania.

Me: That all or did waby say something to you too when she stole your fancy underwear?

Muk: Yes.

Me: What?

Muk: “usman …”KHHan” You don’t even deserve my [beep].”

Me: Uh… On second thought… I don’t wish to investigate this matter any more.

Muk: *Whispers* Do you like naughty stuff?

Me: Don’t make me call security bub… you are here to give an interview so just give it and go!

Muk: *starts singing* tera naam [beep] par likhker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *gets up in disgust* I think I need a break! (Before you people start assuming, the lyrics are tera naam HATHELI per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun =P)


*Me comes back after puking a couple of times, washing his eyes, face and only due to the fact that I have to finish what I started… oh and after confirming that muk doesn’t have my name imprinted on his hand!!!!*

Me: Ok, so I hope the break cleared your head.

Muk: Yes.

Me: So, care to share some incident of your life that left a deep impact on your life?

Muk: oh yea….well moh offered a [beep] if I contributed 50 rs.

Me: Uh… So did you finish it?

Muk: well…no, it was….a big one you know

Me: So you mean to say you couldn’t finish one [beep]? (Yes, I know you have a dirty mind =P)

Muk: Yes. It was so hard to push it down my throat. (Now just put zinger[the original word] in place of the beep and then read it again… 😛 Now, do you see what a dirty mind do you have?)

Me: Wow princess… you can’t even eat one zinger…

Muk: I am impotent.

Me: Yes, how can I forget? So tell me… how many girl friends do you have?

Muk: 2.5

Me: Excuse me? 2.5? Name them please.

Muk: Komal, Ghania and Bryan Adams.

Me: Uh, who’s the 0.5?

Muk: Bryan Adams.

Me: Write so care to describe them?

Muk: Well… they are… hot…spicy…juicy…desperate with extra cheese toppings.

Me: No no no… Sorry lord I asked him that question… I didn’t need those visuals… So, since we are talking about girls… how would you describe your ideal girl?

Muk: Ghania. (true love o.o)

Me: seriously you are slower than a bunch of turtles stampeding through peanut butter mate… Describe Ghania.

Muk: Cute…Honest…Caring (This one is the truth!)

Me: So what attracted you to her in the first place?

Muk: She is a geek.

Me: Wow, you are boring me you know that?

Muk: Yes.

Me: So how old are you?

Muk: well…how old do you want me to be? (Original dialogue)

Me: Look mate, I am a straight guy so stop freaking hitting on me!

Muk: *sad puppy face* 19

Me: And in these 19 years have u accomplished something worth talking about?

Muk: I wait(ed) a min.

Me: Uh… for what?

Muk: kissy from Ghania.

Me: So, care to tell some interesting fact about yourself?

Muk: m wearing….a dress pant n a dress shirt.

Me: Yes, I can see that you dumb shit… anything else?

Muk: ghania is the first girl to kiss me.

Me: *dozing off with boredom…* uh right, so tell me what your life ambition is?

Muk: I wanna buy a vest and a baba

Me: A baba? As in an old man?

Muk: Yes.

Me: Why the hell do you want an old man?

Muk: well….generally it is believed that they aren’t CHEAP…..but I have found that at least they are CHEAPER than gals….

Me: EWW… you disgust me to the core… but since we are at the last let me just ask you some random things. Mughees in his underwear or Mohsin in leaves?

Muk: Mohsin in leaves, I like beauty in raw natural form (True dialogue)

Me: Right, before we go, you used some difficult words so what dictionary would you suggest our users?

Muk: well…oxford is good for English and feroz ul lugat for English (True Dialogue… Feroz ul Lughat is for URDU YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT! And you write! Seriously -.-‘)

Me: Well thank you for boring me… Now you can leave…

Muk: *grabs the mike and starts singing* tera naam hatheli per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *calls security*

Muk:*screams as the security guard drag him away* this was for you… komal, mohsin, salman and my love ghania.

Me: Well, first of all I am really sorry folks to have made you go through this boring interview… but ah well… that’s all, your torture ends here. Goodbye and next time hopefully I will be back with a good interview.

20 Responses to “An Interview with MUK”

  1. Lol, ghania would be so pissed off xP You sure ventured into the forbidden territories xP

  2. ghania Says:

    DIE DIE DIE WHALOOO!!! 😡 or mayb id rather kill u myself!!

  3. ghania Says:

    @ anas… u sure got that ryt!!!

  4. wow tht was fun 😛

  5. mughees Says:

    waleed 😛 i want to see the original thing though

  6. Ashar Says:

    Yea That Was Fun…And Mughy I Am Wid U 😛 We Want To See The Original THing 😛

  7. Kashif Says:

    uh!!??o_o …. i gota sy … mughees’s interview was a lot better thn dat x_X … hp lost his “touch” XD

  8. i HAVE to admit waleed ur a ‘jerk’ anyway..!!!

  9. Dev!l Says:

    @kashif seriously ager tun original dekhta to yeh na ketha -.-‘ i was literally drinking strong black coffee to keep myself from falling asleep -.-‘
    @muk yea i know 😛
    @mughy net pay jab milay ga tab le lain xD

  10. ghania Says:

    lil kid hnn *glares* y dont u let me take ur interview? *evil smirk*

    • Dev!l Says:

      sure u take mine and ill take yours 😛 then ill even publish myn online for everyone to see 😛 *evil grin*

  11. weeee that was fun LMAO

  12. you have great interviewing skills! LOL. do you still interview pple?

  13. Sure lets set up some date and time after the coming tuesday 😛

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