Archive for June, 2011

A Rant out of Shear Boredom

Posted in Rants on June 29, 2011 by Dev!l

Ok, I have spent so much time on ranting about girls and their ways that I actually started to live in a fantasy world where girls were the source of evil and men were innocent. Apparently that fallacy must be shattered for my personal growth. I am not going to sugar coat anything when I say, that more than 80% of the male population of country is sexist and desperate. Yes! We discriminate upon sexes. But unlike many other sexists we don’t give favor to our own gender, NO! We actually give preference to the opposite gender i.e. girls.

“OMG! Look at the gay guy stepping up and dishing it out to all the “dudes” out there. Fine if you want you can dub me as gay but seriously I rather be gay than to be a “dude” (which in my dictionary simply refers to a “sexist pig”) like you. Don’t get me wrong but more than 70% teenagers day starts and ends with the thought of girls. It’s like the centre of the universe has been redefined and frankly to a guy like me it’s frustrating.

If you are a guy and deny the fact that we pay more attention to girls then seriously dude stop lying to yourself and actually put the cell away on which you are conversing with a girl on texts, I am pretty sure you are not going to die if you don’t reply to her for 15 minutes. Seriously, we, boys, behave like a 5 day hungry dog locked in a cage inside a meat wagon!

If you are girl and deny this fact well then honestly, sweety WAKE UP!!! Stop being so blind! Have you not walked down a road and felt the ogles of strangers? Have you not ever have a guy hit on you for no apparent reason at all? Have you not ever gotten something by using your gender? Have you never gotten away with something just because you’re a girl? Please don’t say no. You do it and frankly I can’t blame you one single bit for that. You should take advantage of idiots every time you can. After all there is a sucker born every minute… Too bad that sucker is almost always born in our society.

In our Society, the thing known as “self-respect” is something that is only girls have. Boys are born voided of it and would forever live their life without it. It gives us the right to abuse the shit out of a boy for making a joke while laughing our assess out at it when a girl says it. “OMG check it out what an open minded girl” What the hell? Are you seriously kidding me? Have you ever heard of the concept of “gender equality”?

How many times have you been shoved aside by a guard just so a girl can pass by when that oh so angel of heaven could had easily “glided” by just deviating 2 meters from her path? How many times have you waited in long lines and bled tears of anger as a girl simply flies in breaks the line and gets her work done? I mean let me give an example, I once commented on a friend’s dp just making a normal joke, the friend replied to me stating how I have no respect for any one in the world and how close minded I was. Now, a few days later his girl friend made the same joke and somehow it turned out to be really funny.

And this attitude is not constricted to a certain age! Every dude (well about 80%) on the freaking surface of this country acts that way! From the moronic teachers who would award a girl more marks and ignore her short attendance while you beg him not to drop him from the course due to short attendance. To the “ladies man” who would take crap from a girl but when you tell him the same thing would just abuse the hell out of you. We are sexist despos and there is nothing we do about it.

I mean, more than 90% of the dudes go “OMG a date” whenever they see a girl and a guy of similar ages hanging out! More than half of them are so desperate that they actually sell other guys numbers of girls. And of course who can forget the “brothers” who pop out of no where when their “sister” even sighs in front of a guy. OMG HOW DARE YOU TEASE HER! WE ARE GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! Seriously, get a life you losers! I mean truly I am ashamed to even exist. Of course such hermits do exist who actually do perverted things but seriously, 1/4th of the time the oh so innocent girl is either faking it or involved in the whole thing too. But why should we see that? It is all the guy’s fault lets kick his hynie.

So, the solution to this? Easy… if you aren’t a sexist become one and lets all hail girls! Or if you actually possess some working neurons of your brain lets actually speak up against it. Or just try pointing it out to people close to us? Fine feminine charm is one thing but right now if a girl comes up and says hey, I would be your girlfriend if you help me screw the life of your best friend, many of our “gentlemen” would take that offer without a second thought.

Common Family Maniacs =D

Posted in Funny with tags , , , on June 6, 2011 by Dev!l

There is a very famous proverb that goes something like, “You can pick your friends, you can even pick your enemies but you can’t pick your family.” Now, many of us suffer from the disposition of having a family member that we really hate or just can’t bear to stand. A family member who makes our lives worse, now don’t go all noble like, “NOOO, I love everyone in my family” Wake up and smell the stink of your stupidity. It is OK to hate some members of your family. Now when I say family, I mean every tom dick and harry relative you have. And somewhere in there family friends are included too. So this article is dedicated to describing those idiotic relatives who exist in almost every family and make our lives a living hell!

The Overachiever

Now we all know who that person is. There exists one in every family or the son/daughter of a family friend who just has no freaking life and must study 24/7 to break some God damned world record. This results in you often being compared to and getting scolded by your own family. Oh how do I hate the lines, “Have you looked at their son? He gets such good grades, he studies daily… Blah blah You can do it too blah” Honestly, if you can’t find such a person in your close proximity then let me be honest in saying, YOU ARE THAT BITCH!!! I HATE YOU, GO DIE YOU HOMO, YOU MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL AND I WISH YOU ROT IN HELL FOR THIS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A LIFE DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T!!!

The Dream/Fun Crusher

Now these qualities may exist in one person but usually they exist in two different relatives. One would stomp on your dreams by saying, “Oh dear, don’t send your son/daughter there. That place is crap.” Or “No No, that thing has no scope I suggest you put him in something he really really hates and is freaking difficult” And since he is all so close with our parents, they just feel obliged to respect and follow his opinion. Yea, great lets crush dreams! Oh and then there is the fun crusher, he is the person who is always there to point out the things that give you immense fun and dub them as “a waste of time” or “the reason for his failure” usually in our generation that thing is a gaming console or television or computer. “Yea, sure I am too stupid to realize what I did wrong and you must be there to point in out to me and just rub it in. Yea thanks a lot what will I ever do without you…”

The Fighter

No no, I am not talking about some dude who knows kung fu in any family. I am talking about that person who is always looking for a reason to fight with other relatives. The one person who almost everyone hates but are too afraid to admit it to their face. Stereotypically, this person is usually a grown and mature woman but as time is advancing this trait is now often found in grown men too. These people generally are parched and burnt and would look for any chance or anything that doesn’t fancy their oh so temperament. Seriously, I know the world revolves around you, you know the world revolves around you but the world doesn’t know that… SO WAKE THE FUCKING HELL UP!

The Cool Dude/Dudet

Oh now these people are just so pathetic that it’s funny. Ever had a family member who acts oh so “cool” and hip that it looks real fake and pathetic? And it is not their look; even their jokes are so funny that even a laughing hyena would cry at their jokes. But still they would try to use the last bit of brain neurons they do possess and try to come up with oh so funny insults and laugh at their insults like they just made the head comedian at Comedy Central. Seriously, YOU are a lame ass who really needs to consult a thing known as REALITY CHECK!

The Trolls

No, I don’t mean the mythical trolls and ogres, troll but I mean the idiots who are always there to cloud your sunny day and shower their expert opinion on your achievements. Nothing you can ever do would be good enough for these idiots. They thrive on your sadness and would always find something wrong with everything you do. Even if you come home with a Nobel Prize with the Miss Universe as your wife in a Roles Royce, they will find something demeaning to say or find someone to compare and belittle you with. Seriously, if they only looked at the failures they themselves are then maybe they would realize that how great you truly are but frankly they are mentally incompetent.

The Rich Aunt/Uncle Who Just Doesn’t Visit Much

Ok, there is such a person in every family. No there is nothing wrong with these people except the fact that they just don’t pay you a visit often. But then again when they do visit you, they make it worth your while if you know what I mean. So, if you are that person in your family then please visit your family as much as you can they eagerly await your gifts… oh I mean your affection and company.

Well I think that’s all of them, but if I have missed someone please do tell me =D