Common Family Maniacs =D

There is a very famous proverb that goes something like, “You can pick your friends, you can even pick your enemies but you can’t pick your family.” Now, many of us suffer from the disposition of having a family member that we really hate or just can’t bear to stand. A family member who makes our lives worse, now don’t go all noble like, “NOOO, I love everyone in my family” Wake up and smell the stink of your stupidity. It is OK to hate some members of your family. Now when I say family, I mean every tom dick and harry relative you have. And somewhere in there family friends are included too. So this article is dedicated to describing those idiotic relatives who exist in almost every family and make our lives a living hell!

The Overachiever

Now we all know who that person is. There exists one in every family or the son/daughter of a family friend who just has no freaking life and must study 24/7 to break some God damned world record. This results in you often being compared to and getting scolded by your own family. Oh how do I hate the lines, “Have you looked at their son? He gets such good grades, he studies daily… Blah blah You can do it too blah” Honestly, if you can’t find such a person in your close proximity then let me be honest in saying, YOU ARE THAT BITCH!!! I HATE YOU, GO DIE YOU HOMO, YOU MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL AND I WISH YOU ROT IN HELL FOR THIS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A LIFE DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T!!!

The Dream/Fun Crusher

Now these qualities may exist in one person but usually they exist in two different relatives. One would stomp on your dreams by saying, “Oh dear, don’t send your son/daughter there. That place is crap.” Or “No No, that thing has no scope I suggest you put him in something he really really hates and is freaking difficult” And since he is all so close with our parents, they just feel obliged to respect and follow his opinion. Yea, great lets crush dreams! Oh and then there is the fun crusher, he is the person who is always there to point out the things that give you immense fun and dub them as “a waste of time” or “the reason for his failure” usually in our generation that thing is a gaming console or television or computer. “Yea, sure I am too stupid to realize what I did wrong and you must be there to point in out to me and just rub it in. Yea thanks a lot what will I ever do without you…”

The Fighter

No no, I am not talking about some dude who knows kung fu in any family. I am talking about that person who is always looking for a reason to fight with other relatives. The one person who almost everyone hates but are too afraid to admit it to their face. Stereotypically, this person is usually a grown and mature woman but as time is advancing this trait is now often found in grown men too. These people generally are parched and burnt and would look for any chance or anything that doesn’t fancy their oh so temperament. Seriously, I know the world revolves around you, you know the world revolves around you but the world doesn’t know that… SO WAKE THE FUCKING HELL UP!

The Cool Dude/Dudet

Oh now these people are just so pathetic that it’s funny. Ever had a family member who acts oh so “cool” and hip that it looks real fake and pathetic? And it is not their look; even their jokes are so funny that even a laughing hyena would cry at their jokes. But still they would try to use the last bit of brain neurons they do possess and try to come up with oh so funny insults and laugh at their insults like they just made the head comedian at Comedy Central. Seriously, YOU are a lame ass who really needs to consult a thing known as REALITY CHECK!

The Trolls

No, I don’t mean the mythical trolls and ogres, troll but I mean the idiots who are always there to cloud your sunny day and shower their expert opinion on your achievements. Nothing you can ever do would be good enough for these idiots. They thrive on your sadness and would always find something wrong with everything you do. Even if you come home with a Nobel Prize with the Miss Universe as your wife in a Roles Royce, they will find something demeaning to say or find someone to compare and belittle you with. Seriously, if they only looked at the failures they themselves are then maybe they would realize that how great you truly are but frankly they are mentally incompetent.

The Rich Aunt/Uncle Who Just Doesn’t Visit Much

Ok, there is such a person in every family. No there is nothing wrong with these people except the fact that they just don’t pay you a visit often. But then again when they do visit you, they make it worth your while if you know what I mean. So, if you are that person in your family then please visit your family as much as you can they eagerly await your gifts… oh I mean your affection and company.

Well I think that’s all of them, but if I have missed someone please do tell me =D

25 Responses to “Common Family Maniacs =D”

  1. You missed many. The Manipulator, The Whiner and the list would go on. And some members!?

    AAAALA post xD

  2. How can you miss ‘the wife’ ;p 4/10 for missing the wife :p XD otherwise i dint really read much.. just read the headings :p

  3. you missed the attitude freakos..I know this giki graduate. His speech “””ALWAYS””” starts with how he was the editor of the uni mag and the superb food in the cafeteria is next (which is nothing compared to that prepared by the axn’s top chef!!!) and of course you cant miss how the external examiner (of his final project) was dying to get his autograph….
    otherwise the post’s great esp the over-achiever part XD

  4. Ok seriously I have been to Giki and have eaten their cafeteria food and frankly if it was any more better it would be served as Airline food -.-” and lol I know how gikians are xD

    • yep you said it and since you’re on it , don’t miss the match-making khalas/ phuppos when you update the post 😛

  5. lol oh yea for girls that is big problem xD:P

    • I dont mind them until they start passing those cunning smiles and suspicious looks…they are way more than just sooo annoying :/

  6. very interesting read and a good reality check.. personally i hate the aunties who just get up off their seats to *pyar* u, u know… hateable trait..

  7. Oh you mean the ones who must ruin your hair do xD

  8. jee nahe not only that but they also crumble ur clothes by their squeezing hugs n ruin ur skin by their smooches.. urrrggghhhhh

  9. o.o ok no one is that extreme in my family 😛

  10. well yeh salook js larkiyon k sath he hota hai :/

  11. aur yeh aunties nahe hotien, bl keh boorhi maaiyaan hoti hain 😦

  12. lol in my family they only ruin your hair so no problems with that since I don’t even acknowledge the existence of hair brushes 😛

  13. lol this was funny. i hate the person who is the ‘blabber mouth’ and NEVEr shuts up!!!

  14. hahaha, this was a fun read!

  15. @eva and Habiba ty 😀

  16. I think meri family mai ye logo kuch ziada excess mai hain…………. Oh han ik character aur bhi hota hai Ik khala ya chachi who is crazy about your marriage …,. & one stupid cuzn who has a crush on you & always ruins your day !!! 😉 :p

  17. Lol, thank God such a cousin doesn’t exist in mine xD

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