Common Family Maniacs II

Well last time I missed some of the common family maniacs so here I am back again to describe some more of those nutty fiascos you have the pleasure to call family.

The Match-Maker

Well, as the name suggests these people have nothing better to do than to come up with suggestions for the marriage of girls/boys. In the past this characteristic was only found in old females of the family who had nothing better to do but to ruin lives. They only used to discuss the marriage proposals of girls but with time this has started being applied to males too. And the funny thing is not only the guy/girl they “dig up” is going to be “perfect” for you but apparently they also know your nature and what you would like in the opposite gender. Yes if the person is rich then they are going to be the “one” for you!!! If you are one of those persons then I have only one advice for you, “GET A FREAKING LIFE OF YOUR OWN!”

The Whiner

Of course the whiner, how can any family be complete without this masterpiece of nature’s freakishness? He is the guy who would whine about almost anything that he can find from going on an outing to losing in family board games. Please, NO ONE GIVES A DAMN! Sure it was real cute when you used to do it like at the age of 4 but from there on you look like a joke! GROW UP YOU IDIOT!

The “In my day” Guy

These people disgust me the most! Their speech usually starts with “in my day” or “when I was your age”. Seriously when Napoleon was my age he was the king of France now go compare yourself with him and leave me alone!!! No, I really don’t care how you were the top dog when you were young neither do I care how good things were in your day, if you are a big loser now doesn’t mean you have the right to make people listen to your “glory” days. THEY ARE OVER AND YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY MOVE ON!!!

Mr./Miss Right

Now these people are not to be confused with “in my day” people. These people are the jackasses who always believe they are right. They get their kicks out of comparing everything with themselves and how they are so much better. I really hate these people. To them anything they own is the world’s best and one of a kind perhaps they are unfamiliar with the phenomena of “mass production”. If you are one of those people, then here is a secret: “No one likes you, your life interests us the same as that of a dead sloth. Sure whatever we own is really crappy now go jump of a bridge.”

The Know it All

No they are not relatives of Hermione Granger but are just sad excuse of living beings that always do everything but to mind their own business. No matter what you are talking about they are going to add something on the subject. No, it’s not something really cool or knowledgeable because more than half of the time they are simply wrong or just sound stupid. But no, they must act like they are the walking impersonation of a combination of the encyclopedia’s Wikipedia, Britannica and Encarta! Seriously, how more lame can you get seeking attention?

The Over Affectionate People

Ever went to a family function to be targeted by a lady or an uncle who just comes up, yells your name hugs you (if you two are of the same gender) or messes up your hair while saying absurdities about how big you have gotten etc etc. Yea, I mean that is really an accomplishment, you grew up! I mean everyone else usually just does the opposite! OMG you are the reverse of the curious case of Benjamin Button!!! Seriously, fine they have a lot of love to give but why do they have to give that love by ruining your clothes, hair etc? I mean there are other better ways to show that love, I don’t know by something known as a handshake or a friendly prayer?


90 Responses to “Common Family Maniacs II”

  1. Anas Shafqat Says:

    Thoda credit apne suggestions denay waalon ko bhi de dia karo 😛
    Agreed with the post xD

  2. I particularly agree to the The Match-Maker and ‘The “In my day” Guy’ category. Nothing pisses me more than silly aunts probing you about personal stuff. Always suggesting prince charming rishtas and how now Im a grown up girl now and should be atleast engaged. Its literally infuriating, I mean who the hell are they to worry about my matrimonial status?! and whats more, they even try desperately to brainwash my ammi with their crap. and its not like im 30 something, i just turned 20 a few days back for heavens sake! 😐

    • Lol, at least they try brainwashing your ami 😛 i know some families where they don’t even bother doing that xD they just go like OMG hey sis here is the prince charming for your daughters wedding etc 😛

  3. xD….the in my day guys are the most abundant in my family!!

    • I don’t meet much of my family anyway so I have no idea who is abundant in my family xD

      • niether do i but you cant escape from them when they turn on your doorstep out of nowhere as if we are dying to meet them:P

  4. So funny…yeah true we find them everywhere, infact no family would be complete or completely comicish without them

  5. those nutty fiascos you have the pleasure to call family.

    ….Not a pleasue.NEVER has beenXD

  6. Cuz they are idiotic

  7. What indian family is incomplete without those members?
    i loved the “in my day” members part of it, haha. 😀

  8. And what about the ones who only ever say “haaye log kiya sochay geh?” they are worse.. you can’t breathe because of them.

  9. u know what?? IN MY DAYS..:P families used to have some sensible ppl too along side maniacs 😉

  10. tch tch tch itney barey ho gaye ho aur kisi ney aj tak bataya nahe grannie sey age nahe poochtay 😛

  11. no less than a thousand years buddy.. 😉

    • Good so now i know what to get you for your birthday 😛 a cake and a fire extinguisher 😛

      • hahah kkk.. well, i only like cheese cakes when u get me one keep that in mind 😛 n as for the fire extinguisher hmmm… cd say a lot in reply to that but i choose to reserve my comment 🙂 fire to fire is all i wd say 🙂

  12. lol 😛 ok grannie anything else 😛

    • just that ab agar ap ne mujh ko grannie bola to ap pit jayein gay meray hath sey.. koi 1000 yrs ka ho tou grannie hona zaruri nahe, nmbr 1.
      nmbr 2.. i dont entertain new grandsons any more 😛 😛

      • Lol its out of respect that I call you grannie i dun wanna be ur grandson xD and lol threats dun scare me 😛

      • welllllll agar ap ko pitney ki adat hai already tou phir tou apko waqi dar nahe lagey ga ham sey. 😛 waisay i aint scary as well 🙂

  13. sure that s what all girls say 😛

    • hey i am not all girls, i am grannie remember 🙂 and well i am sure you DO know i ain’t scary 🙂

      • ofc you aren’t now please don’t hurt me xD:P and a grannie was once a girl too xD

      • hey i said ” i am not ALL girls” i never was ALL Girls 🙂 but a girl i still am and will always be even when i will be 2000 yrs old 😉 that wd be a curious case of miss. Benjamin Button 😛

  14. Lol, oh someone got hurt when i challenged their uniqueness xD=p and wow o.O 2k =P damn so old 😛

  15. hey Dev!l or Waleed !!
    it is not every day that you get to meet a 1000 year old person who is still so living, and its not every day that you get to meet a nerd.. so yes i am unique.. u shouldnt have any doubts there 🙂

    • lol, btw i was wondering if i could ask u a personal que 😛 I was told u are a m phil student if you don’t mind answering which sub are u majoring in 😛
      and uhh lol sure well m more nerdier m sure of that 😛

      • hmm nerdier honey ki trophy ap ki huwi 😛
        n well kis ney bataya ?? anas or salman??
        n well am done with my mphil. and am phd student now. the subject is Art n design 🙂

  16. would u believe it neither of them o.O and ty I want to accept this award and would like to take the opportunity to thank my parents, friends and family yes I DID IT XD 😛 and uh good can i ask you the topic of your mphil thesis and the phd thesis?:P and um also can u clear how many research papers you need for a phd? 😛

    • ur friends and family made you this nerdy?? 😛 tell me then who told you if not them ?? o>O
      okay topic for the thesis is ‘mysticism in the paintings of Pakistan” as in as an inspiration of the artists. we need to do atleast 3 research papers for phd. i have done one only so far 😦

      • bah i thought we needed 2 -.- damn x.x lol i asked cuz i might opt for phd so gotta be prepared xD and lol it was one of my friends o.O Even he doesn’t know how he knows o.O oh and wow nice topic for a paper 😛

  17. //it was one of my friends o.O Even he doesn’t know how he knows// heyyyyyyy i dont buy this.. at ALL tell me whoooooo told youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu….. lol, some fb person right??

  18. Lol tbh Salu didn’t even know what you were doing xD it was a guy named usman o.O lvii, he reads ur blog -.-” i duno must have picked it in some comments on your blog or something never asked him precisely 😛

    • yeah may be your Salu never pays attention to minor details 🙂 but well he does know what i am doing 🙂 n as for the one who reads the blog as a ghost reader, well thats fine too so far as he feels its not crap 😉

  19. my salu?:P wth salu isn’t mine xD and btw which uni are u in =P lol not to worry your blogs quite good 😛 and doesn’t matter if one or two persons think it aint xD

    • 1- salman is salman for me so hez your SALU 😛
      2- i am doing it from Punjab uni.
      3- i dont worry if someone doesnt like it as it is supposed to be my personal blog where i have to speak my mind and heart out and the whole wide world obviously doesnt think like me 🙂
      4- the one person who thinks it aint good is a good reader so he must be right 🙂

      • 4. Lol or a heart broken person might think its good 😛 thank God i ain’t either 😛
        2. lol seriously couldn’t you had found a better place -.- that place sucks and I hate it x.x
        1. lol ok that really made it sound like m a gay -.-

  20. well as for ur point 1, u were afraid of this allegation already i cd tell, but u know this is not what i meant. you know if we at our work place have more than one person with the same name this is how we address.:
    xyz: B said so an so..
    me: who B??
    xyz: oh ur B yara… lol,
    so it doesnt make u gay, but a close friend 🙂
    n well as for PU my advisor belongs there so i had to do it from there.
    n as for the rest well if u feel what i consistently write about are not worthy topics, u still are an esteemed reader for me nonetheless and always welcome 🙂

  21. Lol that doesn’t happen to me I am like i don’t own anyone so please dun use that terminology again xD -.-
    Lol and what a political statement at the end xD
    and lol I just hate the place even though I have one year left there -.-

  22. i dont study at PU, am just doing my phd from there baba.. u must be at new campus then.
    n well i dont need to be political cz i dont have to draw any benefits from u. my sorry blog exists today it wont tomoro, so i aint bothered abt traffic as well.
    why is it so hard for u guys to blv that ppl cd be genuinely nice to others as well??
    n ok i wont use the term wateva..

  23. Lol I know how Ph.D works -.-” lol yea i am -.-”
    and well yea i get it -.- seriously stop getting so serious -.-
    and uhh no one is genuinely nice to anyone there is always some hidden motive involved somewhere and frankly i dun want people to be nice to me i hate all the pretend “formalities” and what not. Oh and seriously you seemed kind of pissed if its a bother to you then dun reply :S i only reply cuz u kind of seem interesting as a human and well different from all the morons out there -.-

    • hey u conclusion jumper.. i will keep on replying cz i M GENUINELY NICEEEE got it!!! 😛
      now who is becoming soooo serious 🙂 n thankyou for blving i aint a moron, yes that i aint i m just nerdy 🙂

      p.s. i cant stop being nice to you, and now i must find a reason too to be nice to u, as per ur rule 😉

  24. please don’t tell me your one of those happy go lucky type people who are always so gleeful… enough to make me barf -.-
    and lol please do share some of your nerdy habits i wanna see how can you call yourself a nerd:p
    and lol yes find a reason if you can’t then shhh 😛

  25. well dear waleed the point that i dont get is that nice doesnt mean i m happy go lucky.. may be as per ur definition it is, but seriously i didnt find the connection.
    aur mai bas aisi he hun.. nice or not watever. as for gleeful, u have gone thru my blog. a bit of it may be but am sure this is not the title u wd give me.
    last i dont have to find a reason for being however i m. i apologize if i offended u in any way. n well nerd jo hota hai us ko khud he paya hota hai..
    tc 🙂

    • Lol, it was a joke firstly -.- secondly, mostly what i say shouldn’t be taken seriously anyways. lol see again formalities -.-” being formal is just another way of not being sincere -.-” not that i m implying you are not honest or anything -.- anyhow nah i dun get offended by such things and ok sure your a nerd be happy -.-” and honestly if i only look at your blog you seem like one of those broken juliets… no offense meant just a joke… and same to u tc 🙂

  26. i could swear waleed is flirting with you 😛

  27. here is a lil link to one of my posts which might suggest that i am a lil more than a broken juliet.. n whatever i wrote there was well,… u js go thru it if u cd make some time:

  28. no offense meant just a joke… -.- seriously read it again -.- 😛 I know you are a multidimensional writer -.-

  29. @its my thoughts -.- seriously shoo -.- =P

  30. oh ofcos they are all locked up in Pakistan for that matter :p

  31. hahahaa 😛 Mahlaqa you are so funny … fir v kabhi kabhi they manage to break free… but its ok now the shetaan police have been around… and the chains have been double strengthened… so all is calm and well again.. 😛

    @Devil… how come you are still roaming free???? 😛

  32. uh good behavior parole? 😛

  33. Devils have no good deeds…. 😛

  34. Can i say your soul and get away with it?:P

  35. And im not gonna tell ya .. coz if i do i’ll have to kill ya 😛

  36. hmmmm…. you can try …. wont know till you do as to what i really mean 😛

  37. uhh o.O I have no idea what you said so ok great 😛

  38. still not telling you 😛

  39. didn’t ask either o.O nor am i interested in knowing about your significant other 😛

  40. Let’s see: I definitely know a ”In my Day” walay Uncle and yes, over affectionate relatives – Huzzah! I only get to meet them at Eid or some Shaadi.

  41. Ah well, on a totally unrelated thing I sometimes behave as the in my day guy o.O

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