Archive for October, 2011

A Boring Physics Rant

Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , on October 27, 2011 by Dev!l

Well, I am back with somewhat of another rant but unfortunately this one is kind of scientific in nature. Yes, if you haven’t guessed it it’s about the recent neutrino controversy. Well if you were living under a rock, known as a social life then here is the short version: “Some scientists proclaimed that there are some particles known as, “neutrinos” who travelled faster than light.” Now, the term proclaimed is an important term to consider. It means it in no way was proved as many blogs stated! The whole experiment was and still is under scrutiny from the scientific community. Science as my teacher puts it is basically, “refutation and conjecture”. This was just a conjecture and would be further tested and then it would be decided whether it would be refuted or accepted.

The media has just hyped it up beyond measure. Fine, they said that is the result that we obtained after checking but they also said that we invite the whole scientific community to reconduct the experiment and verify or reject our results. That is what one scientist recently did by calculating the time difference in the neutrino’s speed from that of light. And the media went on frenzy again. Seriously, even if it explains the result perfectly: this is just another result which is still to be verified by the scientific community. Even though the scientists who did the research and who explained it are constantly telling everyone that this is just a result that needs confirmation but why listen to a moron with about 20 years or more in physics education right?

Wait, before I rant more let me tell you what are neutrinos. Neutrinos are particles which were suggested by Wolfgang Pauli to conserve the Law of Energy and Mass in the beta decay. Neutrinos are small particles that have a small mass and which are electrically neutral. So what if they travel faster than light? Well, they would void Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Yes, it is still a theory even after 100 years have passed. So what if they void the theory of some crazy old lunatic who looked more like a mental patient rather than one of the brilliant minds of this millennium? Well, the answer is simple: Einstein’s theory gave birth to many interesting principles and explained a great lot in particle physics. Yes, the theory does state that one cannot travel in time but it is not the only thing in physics that stops anyone to become a descendant of Dr. Who.

But would the media tend to look into that? No, because it would make things lose their hype. There is a principle, known as the Law of Entropy which indirectly states that one can’t travel back in time. The state of disorder of a system always increases so it is the belief of many in the scientific community that this law prohibits the travelling back in time. And it is a LAW not a theory. If you don’t know the difference between the two, well laws are something that holds under every situation and is general, a theory however is just a conjecture which is yet to be refined and doesn’t necessarily explain everything thrown at it.

So what was the point of this senseless blabber? Well, everything in science needs to be confirmed through a vigorous process and nothing in science happens overnight. A result obtained is analyzed by various scientists to test its validity along with any possible answers. So, seriously if you are going to write a blog about something please do some research before blabbering about something you have very little knowledge on.

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Types of Boyfriends II

Posted in Funny with tags on October 16, 2011 by Dev!l

The Despo

This type of boyfriend is more common that I want them to be (yes the world revolves around me darling, now get lost). This is the type that just always has to be in a relationship. It’s a necessity, apart from that many of them get committed not for psychological gains but for physical ones. Yes, he’s that kind of the boyfriend who would be there when you cry just because you are an easy target to get physical with. See such a sweet boyfriend he is. Speaking of sweet, they are also the creative geniuses who use original nicknames like baby, darling etc in their every sentence. I only wish I was this original and creative..
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The Restrictor

Oh he is a hunk you all ladies know… Still confused? Let me give you a hint, “Who was that?”, “I don’t want you to talk to that guy again!”, “Don’t eat junk food.”  “Will you stop watching porn?” (Oh wait sorry did I reveal your secret? My bad.) Yes he is that kind who thinks he is so awesome and perfect that he owns the girl he is dating. Anything she does must first be presented before him, for approval. OMG, how masculine he is… Makes me just want to barf all over the girl who takes that crap.

The Romantic

This is the best type of boyfriend out there. Every girl dreams about this knight in shining armor, riding on a mule and rushing to woo her off her feet just so she can get the feeling that she is oh so slim. He is the guy who would sing Shakespeare just so his girl can go all “ahhh”. Oh there is just one little, tiny detail about him that I forgot to mention: He doesn’t exist.

The Dude

Yo, this is the most “Mummy Daddy Kid” out there. A girlfriend is more of a status symbol for her rather than someone to share his time and life with. Yes, he is the type who wears Levi’s jeans, Ray ban shades and carries a Versace wallet making peace signs with his hands acting like the “coolest” loser on earth. Ah, the irony of the fact is that girls actually like this kind for their epic coolness… Seriously I know how cool it is to wear shades at night, but you know what would be more cooler? Holding a white stick while wearing the shades!

The Gifted

Oh yes, these type of men think they are God’s gift to women and must share their wealth with the whole womanhood. They think they are the sole incarnation of Romeo, Shakespeare just forgot to mention them as the inspiration. To them cheating on a girl is oh so natural, just like picking their nose in public and thinking it’s sexy. All I can say to them is, “Please, do me a favor and buy something known as a mirror. Thank you.”

The Hangouter

This type of a boyfriend has a girlfriend for God knows what reason. They are the ones that hang out with their friends all day long, having fun. The only private time their girlfriends can get with them is the brief moment in which they make up an excuse why they can’t talk to her. They are like glorious, rich mice which are found at every café you can imagine. Seriously, if you are dating such a guy my advice is getting a brain transplant asap, thank you.

The Gay

Oh this is the best kind of boyfriends out there. They aren’t gay or homosexual but frankly when trouble comes they run away faster than a speeding bullet… Just in the opposite direction. They for some reason just love rainbow colors along with bright colors. Yes, I am sure they aren’t gay. They would discuss every romantic chick flick with you and their cell phones would always have wallpapers of love and being together. They love long walks and to give more compliments to their guy friends than to the girl they are dating… YES GOD DAMN IT, THEY AREN’T GAY AND I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD NOW BOW DOWN TO ME!

Types of Boyfriends Part-I

Posted in Funny with tags , , on October 12, 2011 by Dev!l

Types of boyfriends… Well, there are a lot of boyfriends but wait some jerk is right now rushing to the comment box to type, “But you are a guy, how can you know different types of boyfriends? FAKE” Ok, now that nimrod is done blabbering, there are a lot of boyfriends. I know about them because fortunately I have been blessed with something known as a brain and the power to actually see something other than myself. Below are some of the types of boyfriends out there. The next part would be uploaded after this.

The Showoff:

Usually, these types of boyfriends are of two types. One: who are rich and show off and generally tend to put on a price tag on everything. Such as, “OMG check out this watch, it’s a genuine Seiko. It cost me about 50000 rupees.” Or “Like the shirt? It’s branded. Cost me only about 2000 rupees.” No one asked you, peanut for brains. These people are shallow, materialistic morons whose only purpose in life is to show off. Seriously, Mr. Richie Rich no one gives a damn so please put your foot where it belongs!

The second type is the one who loves to show off their links and power. Their common catch phrase is, “Larna hai? Pump per aja phir.” Or “Baby if anyone teases you just tell me, Me and my boys will take care of it.” Yes, how manly. Just what every girl needs: a constant reminder that their boy friend is a muscle head moron who just wishes to show off their power. Oh and if you ever tell him to fight for you, it would turn out the person you wanted beat up is a long lost friend of his. So, yea good luck with that manly piece of hunk junk.

The Leech

This type of boyfriend is pretty common in all societies and walks of life. His trademark lines are, “Hey baby, can you send me some balance?” They can often be found poaching off of girls in diners, cafés, restaurants etc.

Girl: “Hey free tomorrow?”

The Leech: “No, I have this important assignment I have to give which if I don’t give would lead to me to failing the class.”

Girl: “Aw… I wanted to give a treat”

The Leech: “You know what baby, you are much more important than any assignment. What time?”

Me: Aw isn’t that sweet if you’re a brain paralyzed numb nuts now GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF YOU EFFING CHEAPSTAKE!

The Know-It-All

Ah yes, the Mr. know it all: the guy who has all the solutions in the world and would give them irrespective of the fact whether you want his opinion or not. He is the guy who would be giving you advice on what you should wear and what girlish things are in and what are not. He would also give solutions for every girly problem that you may encounter. As no one else is willing to listen to his crap he must brush off his wisdom even if they are of things he has no idea about. Well, in short he acts like a former she… If you know what I mean.  Seriously, if your girlfriend wanted your opinion she would beat it out of you, Confucius. SO JUST SHUT UP!

The Gamer

The gamer… The guy who loves gaming so much that a girl friend is just a break he needs when he gets tired of gaming. The only reason he talks to his girl is because he is either tired of gaming or he is stuck somewhere in a game and must connect to the internet to look up the walkthrough. He is a master of evasion with brilliant excuses like, “Hey gotta go Mum’s calling.” Or “Hey I gotta go make an assignment.” Etc etc. He can simply be explained by the following dialogue

Boy: I miss you, baby.

Girl: Your xbox broke didn’t it?

Boy: yes…

The Emo

Oh yes, the most amazing piece of garbage oh I mean boyfriend out there. The amazing whack job who loves to be all goth like on everything that doesn’t go his way. “What you aren’t coming on my birthday and actually have a life and responsibilities other than me? I AM COMMITTING SUICIDE!” Or “What you can’t call me tonight? I AM NOT SLEEPING THE WHOLE NIGHT AND AM GOING TO MISSCALL YOU TILL DAWN!” Seriously, these type of boyfriends should really stop littering the world of their awesomeness and just take a knife put it to their neck and get it over with. It would be a huge favor to all of us, thank you.

The Gossip Girl

Oh don’t be confused by the name. This is a type of a boyfriend. These types of boyfriends are usually the ones who must share everything they do, or every problem they face in a relation with everyone but the girl they are dating. On top of that they must keep mentioning things like, “OMG yar, my gf doesn’t understand me the way you guys do.” Well only if there was a solution to this… Oh wait how about if you would stop bitching about your problems with your friends and talk about it with your girl friend perhaps she will understand you better, you moron. Seriously, NASA called they want to see you; the brain dead idiot now.

My Physical Defects

Posted in Funny with tags , on October 9, 2011 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: Just another random note. If it bades well I guess I will do another one on my mental defects. =P

Well, I am back to whine. Yes, just when you think I have nothing more to whine about I come out to prove you wrong! Today, the topic was suggested to me by a friend by pointing different physical defects in me. That is when I realized OMG, I have so many of them, and therefore I must whine about them!

Well the first thing to remember is this is all in pure fun and yea lots of would be like, “They are only there because you don’t take care of yourself etc etc…” So before you start on that road, let me tell you I don’t really care. The only part of me I care about I preserve with all my being. No, please don’t have a dirty mind I am talking about my brain. 😛

Anyhow my physical defects… Well let’s start from the top shall we? My hair… yes, my glorious silver hair! I am only 21 years old and I have white hair that can put middle aged men to shame. (If white hair signified experience then I would be one of the most experienced and wisest people of my age to tread this earth.) Moving on, my eyesight is weak (of course that one was my fault! But still I like to believe that it runs in the family :P. Oh and I know what you are going to say and the answer is, yes I have four eyes. Oh how original your jokes are… Now please go buy a joke book). I have a sinuses problem along with the fact that the holes in my ear are smaller than they should be which may cause some hearing problems if my ears aren’t properly cleaned. (As pointed out to me during an extensive army medical test… That’s a long story nvm). Well many of you would think that would be enough to cover my face, well sir/madam you are utterly wrong! Next on the list come my teeth. Yes, you guessed it, I have sensitive teeth! I can’t eat anything hot or cold and for someone who only loves ice cream in desserts that really sucks! I also have a gum problem due to which in my childhood I had a real tough time growing my molar teeth. Something which my dentist really loved and as a child I did too up to some extent. I mean free ice cream after every visit, hallelujah.

Alright, moving on as I already whined about the fact that I am skinny you would think that would be enough about my body but no. I have so many other disorders that it’s not even funny. Firstly, I have weak elbows. By weak elbows I mean that if I ever lift anything heavy with them or keep them bended for long I get “golfers elbow” in one elbow and a “tennis elbow” in the other. (If you don’t know what they are… well, neither do I. 😛 all I know is they hurt like hell so yea.) Moving on, I have a real sensitive stomach that gets digestive problems on the slightest taste of spicy food or unprocessed water. People whine about how sometimes their stomach gets upset but I whine about how stomach my stomach gets well and functions normally.

I get random aches in my legs which often result in me getting cranky. Speaking of the lower body, I have big feet. No I am not related to big foot in any way, it’s just that in my country my foot size is not normal and as a result I have to wear international brand of shoes. Seriously, stupid money hungry local brands x.x.

Well you think these would be all of them don’t you. WRONG AGAIN! Now, I move on to my weird sleeping patterns! I must sleep in certain time patterns or I get stupid headaches. I must sleep 6 or 8 or 10 or 12 hours. If I sleep any less or any more I get headaches. And to top of it all, the icing on the cake is I am very clumsy! I have the magical ability to fall on my own feet on flat land with no obstacle or hurdle in sight! My father calls it my “talent”. Of course, bumping my head into things while walking is another story entirely.

So yea, these are some of my faults. I said some because these were the only ones I could think up right now. There are so many others that I just skimmed or skipped past as getting into them is just stupid or I just don’t consider them important anymore.

Insane Ramblings

Posted in Dev!l's Retrospect on October 7, 2011 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: Um these are just some insane ramblings i wrote don’t know why… though do remember when. Anyone who can make sense of it is well, really amazing because I damn well can’t 😛

Closed walls, crowded empty chambers, no escape…  Hollow smiles, mindless babblings, unreal expressions. Just a cell with a stage full of actors, each trying to over shadow the other. I want to breathe; I want to look beyond… I want to watch a different play now… I always heard there was a guardian angel looking out. Where is mine, why doesn’t he hold my hand when I try to escape this pit of malice? Why doesn’t anyone hold me to shelter me from the dark…? I am tired, why doesn’t the door open? Why must I go on with this monstrosity of a play that rambles on way beyond its climax? Why am I the only spectator in this mad house? Why do they all laugh at me?

Oh now I get it, I am not the spectator, they are. The monotonous madness is not a play but the mere crowd watching as I etch my way to insanity… I want to shout, LEAVE ME ALONE, but my voice fails me. When would the door open… when would I be free? Closed walls, crowded empty chambers, one escape… Death…

Nostalgic Quips XI

Posted in Nostalgic Quips with tags , , on October 5, 2011 by Dev!l

Well, this one is quite embarrassing but ah well here goes. It was like almost 2 years ago. It was a cold, winters night and I after getting done with my classes finally went to the bus stop to go home. Now, as it was the first stop of the bus, it was empty. So I picked a seat, I fancied and sat. After some time a guy who was very well dressed, came and sat right next to me. I found it quite weird but then again I thought he was one of those chatty types who needed people to converse with as soon as anyone makes eye contact with them. So, I started using my cell, he however sat with his legs across each other and his arm over his legs in such a way that his hand touched my thigh. I pushed it away and went back to texting… Oh boy little did I know… He did it again, but this time his hand was um a lil more towards the inner portion of my thigh. I looked at him angrily and said, “Please move your hand.”

“Why?”

“Uljhan hoti hai.” (It’s annoying)

He looked at me and with a straight face said

“Uljhan kay baad hi tou maza ata hai.” (Pleasure comes after annoyance)

Frankly, I was stunned by what the eff had just happened. I automatically stood up like a Jack in the Box and stepped a little back. My fists closed, upon seeing this he rose up and quickly went out the bus and just went away in haste… But still WTF -.-

Random Life Update

Posted in Dev!l's Retrospect with tags , on October 3, 2011 by Dev!l

Well, at long last my vacations have finally ended and as Eminem said, “It’s back to the lab again” (quite literarily in my case) No, I am not some kind of a nerd who counts the number of days left before school/college/university starts. In fact I am quite the opposite of it. I hate waking up to a monotonous and mundane routine each day and expecting something different to happen every day… Like Einstein said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

It’s been three years in that single hell hole which runs by siphoning the creativity of its students and sucking each bit of hope, dignity and logic out of them… that is unless you are a girl, in that case it’s a quite another story but I digress. This is about me. To think, in just one more year I would be churned out into the cold cruel world to fight for my survival. Does make me, hell everyone, wonder that am I ready? To face the harshness of this materialistic world when the only purpose I loved books was to gain knowledge from them? When the only reason I attended classes was for the intention of learning something new? When I never bothered thinking about the bitterness of the outside while sheltered from it inside my sweet cocoon of negligence and fun?

To be quite honest, I am scared… Yes, I am humane after all and I do feel things contrary to the popular belief. Who wouldn’t be scared at a time like this? When inflation has hit the roof and the ceiling leaks of failures… Ah well, still I can’t help but feel like a sense of happiness thinking that I still have one last glorious year…

One more year of hanging out with friends. One more year of sitting around doing nothing and laughing at every little thing that can arouse a smile. One more year of bunking a class just to kick a soccer ball around the park and just walking barefoot in the scorching sun on the concrete road. One more year of walking in the rain, jumping with joy, taking random unplanned trips to God knows where. One more year of making plan out of absolutely thin air, mocking girls and their “oh my God attitude” or um rightly put, one more year of GENDER WARS! One more year of sitting in the computer lab totally and utterly bored while the teacher talks about something I discovered ages ago. One more year of writing with my eyes half closed and while half asleep. One more year of finding myself stuck in weird situations that just makes anyone go, “MY LUCK SUCKS!” and much more…

Of course there are always things that I hate going back to… such as the gender inequality that rages on everywhere I go. Or the fact that administration rules all whilst the students are just mere pawns in their scheme for leeching out more and more cash. Or the mere amazement of the fact how the hell some of the people can call themselves a “teacher”? And of course how can I ever forget the most amazing politics… class or university who cares both suck…

Oh and of course one more year of learning stuff that actually either you already knew or just makes your head go POP. Seriously, 4 years in one place and the only smarter I feel is when I actually find myself sleeping during class. You know with all this to look forward to I guess I feel a little confident. The future is going to come and hit you hard whether you wish for it or not so might as well enjoy what you have, right? Besides, being afraid is always fine as long as you have the courage to face your demons. But still for the record, life sucks -.- I WANT MORE VACATIONS x.x