Types of Boyfriends Part-I

Types of boyfriends… Well, there are a lot of boyfriends but wait some jerk is right now rushing to the comment box to type, “But you are a guy, how can you know different types of boyfriends? FAKE” Ok, now that nimrod is done blabbering, there are a lot of boyfriends. I know about them because fortunately I have been blessed with something known as a brain and the power to actually see something other than myself. Below are some of the types of boyfriends out there. The next part would be uploaded after this.

The Showoff:

Usually, these types of boyfriends are of two types. One: who are rich and show off and generally tend to put on a price tag on everything. Such as, “OMG check out this watch, it’s a genuine Seiko. It cost me about 50000 rupees.” Or “Like the shirt? It’s branded. Cost me only about 2000 rupees.” No one asked you, peanut for brains. These people are shallow, materialistic morons whose only purpose in life is to show off. Seriously, Mr. Richie Rich no one gives a damn so please put your foot where it belongs!

The second type is the one who loves to show off their links and power. Their common catch phrase is, “Larna hai? Pump per aja phir.” Or “Baby if anyone teases you just tell me, Me and my boys will take care of it.” Yes, how manly. Just what every girl needs: a constant reminder that their boy friend is a muscle head moron who just wishes to show off their power. Oh and if you ever tell him to fight for you, it would turn out the person you wanted beat up is a long lost friend of his. So, yea good luck with that manly piece of hunk junk.

The Leech

This type of boyfriend is pretty common in all societies and walks of life. His trademark lines are, “Hey baby, can you send me some balance?” They can often be found poaching off of girls in diners, cafés, restaurants etc.

Girl: “Hey free tomorrow?”

The Leech: “No, I have this important assignment I have to give which if I don’t give would lead to me to failing the class.”

Girl: “Aw… I wanted to give a treat”

The Leech: “You know what baby, you are much more important than any assignment. What time?”

Me: Aw isn’t that sweet if you’re a brain paralyzed numb nuts now GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF YOU EFFING CHEAPSTAKE!

The Know-It-All

Ah yes, the Mr. know it all: the guy who has all the solutions in the world and would give them irrespective of the fact whether you want his opinion or not. He is the guy who would be giving you advice on what you should wear and what girlish things are in and what are not. He would also give solutions for every girly problem that you may encounter. As no one else is willing to listen to his crap he must brush off his wisdom even if they are of things he has no idea about. Well, in short he acts like a former she… If you know what I mean.  Seriously, if your girlfriend wanted your opinion she would beat it out of you, Confucius. SO JUST SHUT UP!

The Gamer

The gamer… The guy who loves gaming so much that a girl friend is just a break he needs when he gets tired of gaming. The only reason he talks to his girl is because he is either tired of gaming or he is stuck somewhere in a game and must connect to the internet to look up the walkthrough. He is a master of evasion with brilliant excuses like, “Hey gotta go Mum’s calling.” Or “Hey I gotta go make an assignment.” Etc etc. He can simply be explained by the following dialogue

Boy: I miss you, baby.

Girl: Your xbox broke didn’t it?

Boy: yes…

The Emo

Oh yes, the most amazing piece of garbage oh I mean boyfriend out there. The amazing whack job who loves to be all goth like on everything that doesn’t go his way. “What you aren’t coming on my birthday and actually have a life and responsibilities other than me? I AM COMMITTING SUICIDE!” Or “What you can’t call me tonight? I AM NOT SLEEPING THE WHOLE NIGHT AND AM GOING TO MISSCALL YOU TILL DAWN!” Seriously, these type of boyfriends should really stop littering the world of their awesomeness and just take a knife put it to their neck and get it over with. It would be a huge favor to all of us, thank you.

The Gossip Girl

Oh don’t be confused by the name. This is a type of a boyfriend. These types of boyfriends are usually the ones who must share everything they do, or every problem they face in a relation with everyone but the girl they are dating. On top of that they must keep mentioning things like, “OMG yar, my gf doesn’t understand me the way you guys do.” Well only if there was a solution to this… Oh wait how about if you would stop bitching about your problems with your friends and talk about it with your girl friend perhaps she will understand you better, you moron. Seriously, NASA called they want to see you; the brain dead idiot now.


11 Responses to “Types of Boyfriends Part-I”

  1. well… I know a lot of guys of all varieties…. LOL
    Nice post… 🙂

  2. i wanna read the one that best describes you… 😛

  3. Are these “types of boyfriends” or “human characteristics”, which exist in us all somewhere as part of the grand imprint but remain burried under (for some/most) our good nature, which over-powers these darkside elements because our parents/guardians taught us otherwise.

    One day you can be simple, down to Earth, then you win £100 million on the state lottery and you become a “show-off”, your kids then become “show-off’s”…..

    • Lol well mostly these are qualities that are lost somewhere deep inside us. And often when people get in a relation they find themselves in a secure environment to pour that self out and those are the qualities that makes them those things. Anyhow its meant to be a light article and not to be taken so much in depth but glad that u did 🙂

  4. my fave part: the “CHEAPSTAKE”

  5. WordsFallFromMyEyes Says:

    Love this!

    But you forgot the total retard.
    Oh no! I didn’t say that, did I?!! Just teasing… 🙂

    True what potatosandwich said though – probably muchly human characteristics.

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