Archive for November, 2011

Dammit Comics!

Posted in Comics with tags , , , on November 27, 2011 by Dev!l

Ever got harassed by the same gender? Well this is essentially how it looks like…

For Reference: https://albusclosethedoor.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/nostalgic-quips-xi/

Artist: M. Usman Khan                                       Concept and Dialogue: Waleed Khalid

Dammit’s FB Page: http://www.facebook.com/DammitComics

Dammit Comics!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 24, 2011 by Dev!l

P.G Rated 13

Ever had a friend who would take everything the wrong way? If so, then you would definitely get what this comic means. To all those idiots out there: Grow up!!!

Artist: M. Usman Khan                                       Dialogue and Concept: Waleed Khalid

Dammit’s FB Page: http://www.facebook.com/DammitComics

P.S. Sorry for the past few bogus links of the FB page. This however is the legit link to our FB page, do hit us up on FB if you want. Thank you.

Dammit Comic’s II

Posted in Comics with tags , on November 21, 2011 by Dev!l

Artist: M. Usman Khan

Dialogue and Concept: Waleed Khalid and M. Usman Khan

For Reference: https://albusclosethedoor.wordpress.com/2009/11/07/nostalgic-quip-viii/

Dammit’s FB Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DAMMIT

Dammit Comics

Posted in Comics with tags , , , , on November 20, 2011 by Dev!l

Um, well those who don’t know my past I have been part of many projects (many of whom were a total failure but really fun to do, nonetheless). Anyhoo, this is one of my old projects which is being revived with the help of my friend, Mr. M. Usman Khan. Dammit basically was a lame comic we started with the most lamest and cliche story line imaginable. But now we have let bygones be bygones and gave the comics a new color. Many of those comics will now showcase my Nostalgic Quips… but there will be many with no reference to them. To start things off here is one with no reference to the Nostalgic Quips but its just a random old joke in a comic. Hope you guys enjoy it. Click on the image to enlarge it!

Link to DAMMIT’s FB Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/DAMMIT

Artist: M. Usman Khan

Concept and Dialogues: Waleed Khalid and M. Usman Khan

Mera Ujra Chaman

Posted in Funny with tags , , , , on November 16, 2011 by Dev!l

Kehtay hain jab gedar ki maut ati hai tou who shehar ka rukh kerta hai, meri jo maut ayi tou menay apany dostun kay sath aik nayi (Aey Khuda, meri us hairdresser ki shaan mein yeh gustakhi maaf farmain) ki dukan ka rukh kiya. Jis tarah logun kay family doctor hotay hain usi tarah mera family nayi tha, per is dafa jo dost sath milay tou menay us ko dhoka diya aur aik naye, stylish, nayi hairdresser ki dukaan mein ja ghusa.

Dukaan mein ghustay hi yeh guman hua kay jesay mein aik nayi duniya mein hi ja ghusa hun. Meray samnay hi aik khalayi makhlooq ka bhoot kursi per betha thi. Mein abhi bhagnay ka soch hi raha tha kay who bhoot bolna shru hua. Us ki awaz sun ker meri jaan mein jaan ayi aur maloom hua kay yeh koi bhoot shoot nae balkay aik 40 saal kay hazrat thay jo kay do minute mein ho rahay thay, “gori gori”.

Kher, aik mod scot sa naujwan utha aur mujhe dekhtay hue aik kursi ki taraf ishara kiya. Menay bechargi say aik bar apnay dostun ki taraf dekha aur phir us khoofnak kursi ki taraf. Ahistagi say chalta hua jab mein us kursi per bheta tou tab mujhe pata chala kay barqi kursi per bhettay hue aik mujrim ko kesa ahsaas hota hai.

Aap mein say bohat log meri is mushaibat ko aik mazaaq samajh rahay hun gay per sachai yehi hai kay mujhe nayiun say nafrat si hai. Us ki wajah sirf yeh hai kay keenchi kay sath sath un ka muun bhi chalna band nae hota aur mujh jesay khamoosh tibh insaan kay liye yeh nakabal e bardasht hai. Kher, us nayi nay aik minute kay under meray galay per 2 tissue rakhay aur us kay gird aik kapra aesay zoor say bandh dala jesay kay gaye ko zibah kertay waqt us ki tango per rasi bandhi jati hai. Is mauqay per meray zehen main aik purani hindi film ka dialogue, “Thakkur tou gayu” aesa ghoom raha tha jesay kay mein hi who thakkur tha… Kher un bhai nay meray balun per pani kay chirkay dalay aur un kay upper 3 larkiyon wali chimtiyan si laga dalin aur mein usay kuch na bol paya.

“Ap kesa istyl banwana chahain gay bro?” Us nay aik naram say lehjay mein pucha jesay kay who meri bechargi ka mazaak ura raha ho.

“Ganj karo ji iski, kanghi tou isnay karni nae hoti behtreen rahay gi.” aik dost bol utha

“Oh nae oye, Mister T ka hair style bana dalo aj.” Aik aur sada uthi

“Mazak na karo, style choro aur is kay baal neelay rang dalo.” Teesray dost nay bhi apni raye ka izhar kiya.

Is say pehlay kay nayi un ki kisi bhi raye ko sanjeeda layta mein jaldi say bol utha, “Bhai ap “istaylist” ho jo style ap ko pasand aye bana dalo.”

Us ka yeh sunna hi tha kay us kay hath start ho gaye aur who merai kalmun kay pass walay balun mein kenchiyan marna shru ho gaya. Ji menay bilkul baja kaha, who mera sar mein kenchi is tarah mar raha tha jesay kay aik pagal vehsi filmun mein apnay masoom target ko chaku say bar bar marta hai. Farak sirf itna tha kay in bhai ka nishana bar abr chook raha tha aur meray baal shaheed ho rahay thay. Thori dair baad us ka haat ruk gaya.

Kaya mera drauna khuwab aik aikhtamam ko pohanch gaya tha? Nahin… Ab usnay meray sar kay beech kay balun ka khoon kernay ka soch lyia tha. Mein soch hi raha tha kay in balun kay sath who kesay ziadti keray ga kay meray sawal ka jawab mujhe samnay sheeshay mein nazar agaya… Us nay meray kuch balun ko pakar kar aik chori chutya si banayi aur us ko ka sira kat ker apni ungli per rakh ker meri ankhun kay samnay aesay pesh kiya jesay puranay zumanun mein badshahun kay samnay un kay dusmanun kay sar paish kiye jatay thay. Shayad who mujh say is kartab kay badlay koi bakshish cha raha tha.

“Bhai mujhe pata hai ap meray hi baal kaat rahay ho parusiyon kay nae.” Mein akhir kar bol utha.

“Oh nae brother, yeh tou ap ko length dekha raha hun.” Us nay aesay hans ker jawab diya jesay kay mein say bewaqoof admi us nay aj tak nae dekh tah.

“Nae shukriya menay nae dekhni.”

Us kay baad us nay kher ungli per baal rakh ker tou na dakhaye albata chutiyan banana band na ki aur balun ko us tarah katta chala gaya. Akhir kar 20 minute kay tashadud kay baad us nay apnay hath rok liye. Meray khayal say who ab thak chukka tha lehaza us nay meray “haircut” ko “done” karar diya. Menay apnay sar ki taraf dekha tou bus dekhta hi chala gaya… Meray sar kay beech mein say baal aesay kharay thay jesay kisi nay un mein phatakha phora ho aura gay say aesay bhethay thay jesay kay puranay waqtun mein mayein apnay laal neelay peelun kay baal teel say chopar ker bhetati thin.

“Boss check karo, latest fashion hai.” Who fakhriya lehjay mein aesay bola jesay kay pani pat ki jang jeet ker araha ho.

“Bhai ap ko kaha tha koi aesa istyl banana jis ko kanghi na kerni paray.” Mera dost meray chehray kay tasurat ko bhamptay hue bol utha.

“No problem bro. yeh istyl beghair kanghi kay banay ga fikar not.”

Mein marta kaya na karta ahistagi say us ki han mein han malayi aur kursi say uth para. Mera khayal tha kay meray upper zulm ki inteha guzar chuki thi per afsoos aesa na tha. Meinay jab us say is “istyl” kay naam per mazaq kay pesay puchay tou won apnay 32 dant dekha kar baray aram say bola, “Bus bhai 250 rupaye.”

Ager ap mein say kisi ko andaza nae tou, aik acha nayi balun ki hajamat kay sirf 130-150 rupaye layta hai per yeh sahib nay tou kamal hi ker dala. 4 angrezi kay alfaz bol ker, 2 chutiyan bana ker, puthi puthi kenchiyan mar ker tou 250 aesay mang liye jesay kay bara sawab ka kaam kar dala ho. Menay ahistagi say aah bhari aur us kay hath mein pesay rakhta hua dukaan say muun hi muun mein wahiyat bakta hua nikal para.

Aray han… who jo uska “beghair kanghi kay ban nay wala hair istyl” tha na, who aj tak mujh say kanghi kay beghair kaya kanghi kay sath nae ban paya. Bus meray dil say tou yehi shair nikalta hai ab

“Hazarun saal nargis apni bay nori pay roti hai

Bari mushkil say hota hai chaman mein deedahwar paida”

Eid ki Kahani

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on November 10, 2011 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: Uh, well the following is a prose in Roman Urdu. It’s been so long since I wrote in Urdu that I know it sucks so yea you don’t have to tell me.

Har Eid ki tarah is dafa bhi jamhoriat apna rang layi aur hamaray ghar mein mabahsa chira kay is bar eid kay liye gaun jaya gaye kay nae… Mera vote hamesha ki tarah eid apnay bistar kay sang guzarnay per tha per kismet ko tou kuch aur hi manzoor tha. Meri ami hazoor nay meri raye ko is tarah nazar andaz ker diya jesa kay aj kal kay door mein larki beghair pesay walay larkay ko nazar andaaz kerti hai. Dil bardashta ho ker mein mamla Supreme Court (aba hazoor) tak lay ker gaya magar afsoos kay sadar kay samnay becharay ghareeb judge ki kaya chalni thi…

Oh zara tehriye, ap yeh hargiz mat samjhiye kay mein hi-fi shehri bachun ki tarah gaun ko koi buri jaga samajhta hun, nae hargiz nae. Is puray safar kay khalaaf meray ihtejaaj ki wajah sirf aur sirf meri susti hi thi.

Akhir kar eid ki subha 7 bajay hum gari mein gaun ki taraf rawana ho gaye. Hum nay Eid ki namaz gaun mein ada kerni thi. Ager ap mein say aj tak kisi nay Eid ki namaz gaun mein nae parhi tou sach mein unhain  pata hi nahin kay bahmi itefaq namaz say kesay paida hota hai… Har dafa ki tarah molvi sahib nay waqt ki intehai pabandi ki aur namaz aen deedh ghanta late shru ki. Heran honay ki koi baat nae, is bar kam az kam molvi sahib hamaray samnay tout hay… pichli Eid per MA molvi sahib saray logun ko bhata ker khud suleimani topi pehen ker 2 ghantay kay liye aesa ghayab hoye kay sara gaun mun deekhta hi reh gaya.

Kher eid ki namaz ka gaun mein aik alehda hi rang hota hai… Pehlay tou molvi sahib puri qurbani ka tareeqa, saleeqa aur khuda janay kaya kaya batatay hain us kay baad ager un kay naak per ghusa na ho tou eid ki namaz ka tareeqa bhi bata daytay hain werna us kay beghair bhi aik do bar guzara kerna para hai. Kher molvi sahib jesay hi eid ki dua khatam kertay hain tou puray ground mein aik halchal si mach jati hai. Aesay mokay per apna aik hath batway per rakhna hi samjhdari ki alaamat hai kyonke ap ko har mumkin zawiye say log a ker galay miltay hain (nahin har zawiye mein peechay kay zawiye shamil nahin hain). Yeh moqah intehai deed naak hota hai kay log beghair aik dusray ko janay bus apni khushi say aik dusray say eid mil rahay hotay hain…

Mujhe aur gauun ka tou pata nae per hamaray gaun mein kul 8-10 chohdriun kay ghar hain. Aur in 10 gharun say har ghar kay 2 say 3 mard hazrat mil ker akathay hotay hain aur toli ki shakal mein gaun kay doray per nikal partay hain. Mujhe bhi is doray ki offer hui j okay menay apnay tajarbay ki buniyad per thukra di. Is doray mein 12-18 bandun ki toli bari bari 10 gharun ko jati hai aur har ghar say bus itna khana chaktay hain jitna kay umru ayaar ki sabeel mein sona hota tha… Jesay hi yeh dora mukamal hota hai tou saray apnay apnay gharun ko ho laytay hian takay ja ker bakray say do do hath karain aur phir sakoon say beth ker roti kha sakain.

Masjid say wapsi per mujhe jaga jaga bachay eid kay is pur masarat mokay per apnay waldain ki jaibun boojh halka karatay nazar aye. Kuch dalair tou kharay kurbani dekh rahay thay aur aksar choti bachiyan tou kasayi ko us ki ghalti batany say bhi nae chook rahi thi.

Kher ghar pohanch ker menay nashta kiya aur us kay baad ghoray, khachar, ount aur najanay kaya kaya bech ker raat kay khanay tak so gaya… Khanay kay baad mujhe aik danda pesh kiya gaya aur usay ganay (sugar cane) ka naam day diya gaya. Pehlay tou mein usay mazaq samjha per jab apnay mamun ki shakal per hansi ka koi tasur na paya tou aehtraman us danday ko choosnay ki koshish shru ker di. Koi adhay ghantay ki jang kay baad akhir kar meray muun mein aik meetha sa ziaqa aya aur sath hi meri chekh nikal gayi. Menay bari tameez say woh ganna wahin rakha (phenka) aur lahol perhta hua apna jabra pakar ker beth gaya.

Aglay din mein mujh ghareeb per intehai zulm dhala gaya jab mujhe sirf 12 ghantay ki neend kay baad hi jaga diya gaya. Thori dair kay baad hi meray bhai sahib kay andar ka thekaydar jag gaya aur unhun nay hamaray school ki remodeling kernay ka soch liya. Is ko sar anajam denay kay liye unhun nay football pakra aur dewarun/cement ki grills kay sath football khelna shru ker diya. Beech mein koi geend ghalti say meray pass bhi a jati thi jisay mein paun mar ker is ghalat fehmi ka shikar ho jata tha kay shayad football meray sath kheli ja rahi hai. Kher is shghal say farigh ho ker jab mein ghar pohancha tou ghar mein halchal machi hui thi, tehkeek per maloom hua kay raat ko bbq tha. Us kay baad kaya hua who mujhe maloom nae per kisi tarah mein grill kay pass betha tikkay laga raha tha. Kher khanay kay baad beth ker tamam khandan nay hum sab ka pasendeda khel, “Waleed ki susti/khamiyan aur anti socialist attitude per tankeed kejiye” khela jo ky thori dair baad kisi unhoni kay tehat meray bhai per divert ho gaya.

Aglay din hamari wapsi thi… Wapsi per mein tamam logun say bharpoor tareekay say salam dua is umeed mein ki kay shayed kisi ko meri masomiat per pyaar ajaye aur who jaib say kuch nikal ker day day per who kehtay hain na, “hazarun khawashain aesi kay har khuwahish per dam niklay… bohat niklay meray armaan per phir bhi kam niklay”. Aur us kay sath hi meri eid khatam hui aur subha ka bhudhu sham ko ghar lot gaya…

Ave Maria

Posted in My Likes with tags , , , on November 6, 2011 by Dev!l

Yes, this is kind of a new experiment thing I am doing where I would showcase things which I like…

Anyhow, starting it off is Ave Maria written and composed by Charles Gounod in 1859. This version is sung by Luciano Pavarotti. If you are a little slow on the opera side, well he was one of the Three Tenors and is deemed as one of the greatest opera singers of his time. I must admit out of all the Ave Maria’s I have heard his one is simply divine… The lyrics are of course a little bit Christianity oriented but I believe that good music must be enjoyed regardless of religious fights.

For translation of the song lyrics you can check this link: Click Here

Anyhow, here is Pavarotti with Ave Maria