Eid ki Kahani

Writer’s Note: Uh, well the following is a prose in Roman Urdu. It’s been so long since I wrote in Urdu that I know it sucks so yea you don’t have to tell me.

Har Eid ki tarah is dafa bhi jamhoriat apna rang layi aur hamaray ghar mein mabahsa chira kay is bar eid kay liye gaun jaya gaye kay nae… Mera vote hamesha ki tarah eid apnay bistar kay sang guzarnay per tha per kismet ko tou kuch aur hi manzoor tha. Meri ami hazoor nay meri raye ko is tarah nazar andaz ker diya jesa kay aj kal kay door mein larki beghair pesay walay larkay ko nazar andaaz kerti hai. Dil bardashta ho ker mein mamla Supreme Court (aba hazoor) tak lay ker gaya magar afsoos kay sadar kay samnay becharay ghareeb judge ki kaya chalni thi…

Oh zara tehriye, ap yeh hargiz mat samjhiye kay mein hi-fi shehri bachun ki tarah gaun ko koi buri jaga samajhta hun, nae hargiz nae. Is puray safar kay khalaaf meray ihtejaaj ki wajah sirf aur sirf meri susti hi thi.

Akhir kar eid ki subha 7 bajay hum gari mein gaun ki taraf rawana ho gaye. Hum nay Eid ki namaz gaun mein ada kerni thi. Ager ap mein say aj tak kisi nay Eid ki namaz gaun mein nae parhi tou sach mein unhain  pata hi nahin kay bahmi itefaq namaz say kesay paida hota hai… Har dafa ki tarah molvi sahib nay waqt ki intehai pabandi ki aur namaz aen deedh ghanta late shru ki. Heran honay ki koi baat nae, is bar kam az kam molvi sahib hamaray samnay tout hay… pichli Eid per MA molvi sahib saray logun ko bhata ker khud suleimani topi pehen ker 2 ghantay kay liye aesa ghayab hoye kay sara gaun mun deekhta hi reh gaya.

Kher eid ki namaz ka gaun mein aik alehda hi rang hota hai… Pehlay tou molvi sahib puri qurbani ka tareeqa, saleeqa aur khuda janay kaya kaya batatay hain us kay baad ager un kay naak per ghusa na ho tou eid ki namaz ka tareeqa bhi bata daytay hain werna us kay beghair bhi aik do bar guzara kerna para hai. Kher molvi sahib jesay hi eid ki dua khatam kertay hain tou puray ground mein aik halchal si mach jati hai. Aesay mokay per apna aik hath batway per rakhna hi samjhdari ki alaamat hai kyonke ap ko har mumkin zawiye say log a ker galay miltay hain (nahin har zawiye mein peechay kay zawiye shamil nahin hain). Yeh moqah intehai deed naak hota hai kay log beghair aik dusray ko janay bus apni khushi say aik dusray say eid mil rahay hotay hain…

Mujhe aur gauun ka tou pata nae per hamaray gaun mein kul 8-10 chohdriun kay ghar hain. Aur in 10 gharun say har ghar kay 2 say 3 mard hazrat mil ker akathay hotay hain aur toli ki shakal mein gaun kay doray per nikal partay hain. Mujhe bhi is doray ki offer hui j okay menay apnay tajarbay ki buniyad per thukra di. Is doray mein 12-18 bandun ki toli bari bari 10 gharun ko jati hai aur har ghar say bus itna khana chaktay hain jitna kay umru ayaar ki sabeel mein sona hota tha… Jesay hi yeh dora mukamal hota hai tou saray apnay apnay gharun ko ho laytay hian takay ja ker bakray say do do hath karain aur phir sakoon say beth ker roti kha sakain.

Masjid say wapsi per mujhe jaga jaga bachay eid kay is pur masarat mokay per apnay waldain ki jaibun boojh halka karatay nazar aye. Kuch dalair tou kharay kurbani dekh rahay thay aur aksar choti bachiyan tou kasayi ko us ki ghalti batany say bhi nae chook rahi thi.

Kher ghar pohanch ker menay nashta kiya aur us kay baad ghoray, khachar, ount aur najanay kaya kaya bech ker raat kay khanay tak so gaya… Khanay kay baad mujhe aik danda pesh kiya gaya aur usay ganay (sugar cane) ka naam day diya gaya. Pehlay tou mein usay mazaq samjha per jab apnay mamun ki shakal per hansi ka koi tasur na paya tou aehtraman us danday ko choosnay ki koshish shru ker di. Koi adhay ghantay ki jang kay baad akhir kar meray muun mein aik meetha sa ziaqa aya aur sath hi meri chekh nikal gayi. Menay bari tameez say woh ganna wahin rakha (phenka) aur lahol perhta hua apna jabra pakar ker beth gaya.

Aglay din mein mujh ghareeb per intehai zulm dhala gaya jab mujhe sirf 12 ghantay ki neend kay baad hi jaga diya gaya. Thori dair kay baad hi meray bhai sahib kay andar ka thekaydar jag gaya aur unhun nay hamaray school ki remodeling kernay ka soch liya. Is ko sar anajam denay kay liye unhun nay football pakra aur dewarun/cement ki grills kay sath football khelna shru ker diya. Beech mein koi geend ghalti say meray pass bhi a jati thi jisay mein paun mar ker is ghalat fehmi ka shikar ho jata tha kay shayad football meray sath kheli ja rahi hai. Kher is shghal say farigh ho ker jab mein ghar pohancha tou ghar mein halchal machi hui thi, tehkeek per maloom hua kay raat ko bbq tha. Us kay baad kaya hua who mujhe maloom nae per kisi tarah mein grill kay pass betha tikkay laga raha tha. Kher khanay kay baad beth ker tamam khandan nay hum sab ka pasendeda khel, “Waleed ki susti/khamiyan aur anti socialist attitude per tankeed kejiye” khela jo ky thori dair baad kisi unhoni kay tehat meray bhai per divert ho gaya.

Aglay din hamari wapsi thi… Wapsi per mein tamam logun say bharpoor tareekay say salam dua is umeed mein ki kay shayed kisi ko meri masomiat per pyaar ajaye aur who jaib say kuch nikal ker day day per who kehtay hain na, “hazarun khawashain aesi kay har khuwahish per dam niklay… bohat niklay meray armaan per phir bhi kam niklay”. Aur us kay sath hi meri eid khatam hui aur subha ka bhudhu sham ko ghar lot gaya…

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20 Responses to “Eid ki Kahani”

  1. some of the things sound so disturbing in this post. 😛

  2. like what? -.-

  3. Lol! you’re never going to admit the idea that communication of that same scenario could be done in a way that suggests EXACTLY what happened but in that case it won’t be funny or let’s just say Dev!l-like so .. zehan tera he hai bhai.. 😛

  4. you need to upload this in audio….lol

  5. took me like half an hr to read this funny piece of fiction 😛

  6. I prefer your Urdu writing to your English rants. You sound like a completely different person. 😉

    Eid in the village… Nothing quite like it! Those gannay… I came across them in France once, they never tasted as good as the ones in pak.

    • Lol, quite frankly my writing start was from funny urdu essays 😛

      lol ofc pak gannas are hell sweet 😛 and apparently hell stiff and tough now a days -.-

  7. Hum jitney marzi hi english daan kyun nah ban jaye, Urdu urdu hai. Jo baat urdu mai kahin jaye wohi dil ko lagti hai. I recently wrote a post in roman urdu myself! Its more .what shud I say…. dil ki dharkan wali baat.

    Good piece! I loved the title. Eid Ki kahani. M borrowing it

    • Lol, yea I feel a certain flow when you are writing in Urdu that I can never feel when m writing in English.
      And your welcome to borrow it 🙂

  8. btw.. umru ayyar had a zanbeel. not a sabeel. 2 different words with way different meaning. 😛

  9. ofc 🙂 if u ahve a problem please don’t come here 🙂 thank you.

  10. An enjoyable read! Idk if I should call you lucky or feel sorry for you. I’ve never been to a village but I love the idra of visiting and even living there. I’d need wifi though.

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