Types of Girlfriends Part I

Well, it’s been some time since I wrote about types of boyfriends. Now, as all of you who know me, do know that I am kind of a misogamist so therefore I present to you, “Types of Girlfriends.”

The Psycho

This type of girlfriend is one of the most dangerous one out there. She is the kind who will act all cool if you are talking to another girl only for you to find her in a video on YouTube titled, “Catfight!!!”. This type of girlfriend is so  much fun to hang out with, that the only reason that keeps you coming back is the fear of the safety of your own limbs, how wonderfully romantic.

The Romantic

Unlike the mythical type of romantic boyfriends out there, romantic girlfriends do exist. They are so amazing that the only thing that would occupy their mind 24/7 would be cuddling or sweet talking. Oh, how I pray to the Lord each day for such a girl and how I envy the guys with such girlfriends… If you are such a guy, please I beg you marry that whackjob of a girl and keep other guys safe!

The Gluer

This type of girlfriend is one of the most common type of girlfriend out there. The only thing that will separate her from her boyfriend would be a 12 hour surgery. If she can’t be there in person, she would demand that her guy keeps texting her. Going in a relation with such a girl is like being reborn with a Siamese twin… Not even the privacy of the toilet would be enough for you, ever again….

The Talker

This type of girlfriend gets on my nerves the most. She is the girl who just won’t shut her mouth. It’s like having a thousand crows, singing their beautiful songs in your ear all day long. The downside? There is none! Well other than the fact that you will get envious of deaf people.

The Anorexic

Due to the recent popularity of skeletons in our fashion industry this type of girlfriends are becoming common every day. The only thing more pleasing and charming than their money saving ways on dates is their constant query to their boyfriends, “Do I look fat?” I really don’t know anything what’s more appealing, the fact that they can give Gandhi a run for his money in hunger strikes or the fact that they think skeletons look fat.

The Dumbbell

Usually this type of girlfriends is associated with blondes but believe me, they exist in every race! With the brain power to put a brain dead hamster to shame, they continue to impress boys with their charming stupidity and carrying a sign, “I’m easy!” The only thing that makes them anymore of an abomination on this planet is the fact that they believe they are the prettiest girl on the planet and the whole world should worship them for their hard work in looking oh so beautiful.

The Mullah

Oh, don’t be fooled by the name. This type of girlfriends are the ones who are often found in veils and doing everything in accordance to the commandments of their religion… They are so religious and pious that they full fill the order of wearing veils to the letter and often forget to wear anything else underneath the veil other than miniskirts, sleeveless, skin tight shirts etc. You know what the religious people wore in ye olden times. They are often found addressing their boyfriends to also follow the “religious” ways while they are not busy making out with them. (Disclaimer: Not all girls who wear veils are like this.)

12 Responses to “Types of Girlfriends Part I”

  1. m assuming you’ve had a lot of experience with girls since you know a lot more than an average guy with max two to three girlfriends would. 😛

  2. i have meet many paki blondes…they say the dumbest things, but i love it cause its so funny!

  3. knew this was coming:P

  4. […] maid is the most weirdest person on Earth. Right now, I was smiling/laughing while reading this and she started laughing so hard that I had to ask the reason for her sudden outburst. I minimized […]

  5. umm well as for the people who KNOW u know that if u r not a philogynist you aren’t a misogynist either 😛
    n very very cooooool post. loved it. i wonder if everybody has to be gfrind to stay in the league 😉

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