Archive for January, 2012


Posted in Stories. with tags , on January 30, 2012 by Dev!l

He stared at the ceiling as the class commenced. Funny how a classroom filled with bodies seemed empty to him… but then again that’s all they were to him… bodies.

“Mr. Ray? Care to join us?”

“Uncertainty” he replied without taking his eyes off the ceiling.

“Excuse me?”

“Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is violated therefore the term is not physical and the second term is not localized, so only the third term remains and that’s our answer.” he replied casually still lost somewhere in the ceiling.

The teacher stared at him, cleared his throat and said, “Yes… Yes. Problem solved, class dismissed.”

Everyone got up and left but him… He just sat there with his head tilted backwards.

His cell phone buzzed and buzzed but he didn’t bother. There was no reason to bother for he knew on the other side was someone, self obsessed with his own life wanting to catch up with his just to fulfill some social protocol.

The buzzing continued, irritated he picked it up and turned it off. There was no point left sitting there anymore as his peace was disturbed. “Might as well walk among the hollow dead.” He thought to himself as he picked his bag up and went outside.

“Hey lost bunny” a cheerful voice called after him. He slowed down but didn’t bother to reply.

“You know it’s rude to ignore your girl friend slash fiancée.”

“If I had turned around to greet you, you would had had found something else that I was being rude at. So, what’s the point if you’re gonna assume what you want in the end anyways?” He spoke softly.

“Seriously, sometimes I do wonder how come a cheerful girl like me ended up with a boring bum like you.”

He chose to ignore her and simply walked towards the railing.

“You know I never know what you find so fascinating about just standing there looking at the ground below.”

He cracked a small smile, pulled out a piece of paper from his bag and wrote something on it.

“Oh look at the great Einstein, developing his equations. Anyhow, today is Smith’s birthday what are you getting him?”


“Smith? Your childhood friend?”

“Oh, yea… here take this.” He folded the paper and handed it to her.

“Uh, ok…”

“Read it aloud and know that you’re a moron and I love you.” He said with a huge grin on his face.

She was taken aback by his reaction nevertheless she opened the paper and started to read

“I always wanted to know how it would feel like to jump down from this railing. How hard would my heart beat? How fast will I fall? Would I cry or laugh? Or would I be afraid… But I never had the freedom to find out. I always preferred surrounding myself with people who always understood what they desired and be critical of every step I took.”

“What the hell is this?” She clutched the paper more angrily

“Hahahaha, just read on it’s a story I’m working. An unknown person commits suicide and leaves behind a letter but I can’t imagine how the main characters would react to it.”

“I always built castles not in hopes to keep intruders out but to challenge those who wished to enter. They say that those who think they are misunderstood are the biggest fools of them all but unfortunately people with no souls can’t understand… they are obsessed with their own selves so much that they have lost themselves in the process. Their dreams and passions are decided by logic and their logic by their obligation to society and self importance; I refuse to be surrounded by such hollow straw men. Do not think I am giving up… No, I am just trying my right to be free… Free to be wretchedly alone and in this world I can’t find a single place where I can find the peace of mind to be alone.”

“Uh, so? What do you want me to do now?”

“Nothing, just complete my story…” He smiled and jumped off the railing hysterically laughing with joy.


Utter Random Crap

Posted in Uncategorized on January 23, 2012 by Dev!l

“Why are you so afraid? Why can’t you let me in?”

“I …”

“Why can’t you share? Don’t you trust me?”

“I’m afraid…”

“Of what? That what you say won’t remain a secret?”

“No… of you… leaving me…”


“You see I can share the world with you, just not my world… for I’m afraid… afraid that you will uncover the true me to be nothing more than a common man, afraid and alone, surrounded in a mist of lies and a pretence of valor.”

“Ha, so you’re saying the man I fell in love with is nothing more than a common human?”

“At the end of the day aren’t we all? Today you saw something special in me tomorrow you may see an…”

There was the sound of a slap and everything went quiet. The cold winters air silently swept across the plane of oblivion, dusting away all signs of warmth and in the middle stood she with her fists still clenched from anger and adrenaline rushing through her veins.

“Hahaha, it’s only logical…”

“That I would fall in love with someone else?”

“It’s only human nature”

“Nature has its ways with us true, but to think that it has a way with love? Who are you?”

“I dunno… I wish I was a sailor sailing miles away dreaming about his girl and the warmth of her breath as she gently kissed him. Yet here I am inches away from you with swearing it would still be the same even light years away…”


“You know they said love was the strongest force in this universe but in my search for it all I found was the sorrow and tears of weaklings afraid to lose what they desired.”

“You never searched for love, for if you did you would not stand here and talk to me about logic.”

“Logic is not the enemy of the heart…”

“It is a disease that feeds on love. You in your pride mention love and its weakness yet are so blind sighted to see that those who you saw never loved at all…”

“Excuse me?”

“Love is not about closure… it’s about the immense joy one feels even while they are in constant pain… It’s about sacrificing everything just to see the other person happy… it’s about burning your own world with the hope of becoming a slave in someone else’s… You don’t wish to be with the master yet you always wish to serve them… You sought what you thought to be the easiest to seek, love is not around you, it is in you… Find yourself and perhaps you will find love… And when that day comes, come looking for me and even if I am not here, my love for you will be but at that point you will just smile at the irony as your heart shatters into a million pieces and you walk away as if nothing happened…”

With that she left not looking back while he just stood there as the cold wind slowly died down and the sun slowly peeked from the horizon ready to spread its warmth…

Another Rant…

Posted in Rants on January 16, 2012 by Dev!l

Alright you know how in the past I have ranted on how a certain group of individuals that got on my nerves? Well, I never thought this would be possible but I found a certain group of people that really made me want to pick a gun and purify the air around me.

Honestly, I am really tired of the morons who think of themselves as the tutors of Albert Einstein. These jackasses can be found everywhere but the most common of them all are your plumbers, electricians, mechanics etc. I recently had the extreme pleasure of getting some work done by them and oh boy not even NASA scientists were that hooked on their jobs as these guys. They would not only do everything by first telling how badly the thing was made but then they would comment on how you were the luckiest guy in the world to have found them as they are the only ones in the world ever who can fix this problem.

Let me elaborate with an example: The washel in my flushing system broke so I got a new one. That one had some problem in it so naturally I went to get another one. Just to be on the safe side I consulted the resident plumber of the hardware shop to check the washel and after examining it with great scrutiny he said, “Sahab jee, washel tay theek hai per inhun fit kerna har kisi da kaam nae hunda, thuwaday kolun nae hona” (Sir, the washel is fine but not everyone can fix it. You can’t do it.) Yes of course I mean it’s a part straight out of the space shuttle Atlanta and you need a rocket scientist to install it, what the hell was I thinking of myself to find myself worthy to even touch a 20 Rs. Washel. May God forgive my sin…

Speaking of born geniuses there is another one, my generator mechanic. I really love how my mother gives me the immense joy by calling him every time when the generator stops working. Oh he is such an expert that he would comment on how the generator’s engine is about to blow up as it just gives out a little smoke when it starts in the winters… Seriously, I really wonder why these people not fall down more.

You know a lot of you might think that I am over exaggerating but seriously, haven’t you ever had a know it all, condescending friend who would add his valuable knowledge into every subject and would always be convinced that he is right? If not then seriously can you please introduce me to your friends? 😛

The only thing worse than them are the morons who believe them. I mean seriously, I couldn’t help but bang my head against the wall when my brother believed his car mechanic when he told him that his car’s temperature gauge fails if there is no water in the car. I mean seriously, who the eff would believe something so stupid -.- But no, the mechanic had a far greater logic that my puny mind could comprehend. Oh then there are idiots who would overpay these geniuses just to get something done. Seriously, if you don’t know how much something costs and are too lazy to do that perhaps you should ask someone who does or maybe I don’t know get off of facebook for a second and Google it? But no why should they bother, the mechanic is their childhood buddy with nothing but love in their hearts and would never even think of ripping people off.

A lot of you may be thinking that this problem is only fixated with people who are uneducated but no, this problem is even more common with the oh so literate lot. The only difference between the two is the “educated” person would be a lot more condescending towards you. Not only will he keep on yapping on and on and enlightening your mind with his theories but he would do it such conviction that it was he that had originally came up with the idea in the first place and some wannabe scientist/engineer ripped him off his idea.

I don’t know about you people but to all these ingenious chaps out there I just have one request, “Kindly, stop breathing my air thank you.”

Read, Learn and Educate

Posted in Rants on January 9, 2012 by Dev!l

Uh, something I wrote out of shear boredom. It’s published at my other blog, Static. Do read if you want. Its titled: Read, Learn and Educate

Types of Girlfriends II

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 2, 2012 by Dev!l

The Stalker

Normally, such types of girls aren’t very common but they do exist. I can write on about such girls on and on but I guess the best way to explain to them is, “Every move you make, every step you take, they’ll be watching you!” From your Facebook profile to your blogs, they will monitor every activity like NSA agents gathering intel for an assassination mission.

The She-Wolf

Like their guy counter parts, these type of girls are always on the prowl for a new guy. It doesn’t matter if he is rich or poor, they want him. These types of girls make excellent tech geeks since they are always in the market looking for new models to upgrade their “systems”. The only thing more fascinating than their boy changing habits is their abilities to handle two guys at once in a serious relationship. They really give girls everywhere a good name!

The Money Hungry

These type of girls are similar to the She-Wolves with the only difference is that they always are in the market looking for new “meat on expensive wheels”. The funniest part is guys know about such type of girls and love to exploit their weakness to riches. The most amazing thing about such type of girls is that they can burn through your wallet faster than you can earn/borrow it! Their faithfulness is the stuff of legends and they would loyally remain yours till your wallet has the sleek gold look.

The Lioness

These types of girls are the advent of modern society. They are trustworthy, faithful and would always give you room to breathe. They would give you their eternal love… The only downside is that once you try to break up with them they will shred through you like a lioness shreds through a zebra. They will make it their personal vendetta to ruin all your future relationships along with any fun aspect of your life. Going in relation with such a girl is truly the most amazing feeling ever till I don’t know… you perhaps start thinking for your own self! The other name for such girls is. “The B****”.

The Tomboy

Secretly lesbian-ish in nature they are the perfect candidates for guys seeking for girlfriends they can be friends with. They are the epitome of girlishness with their “wanna-be” boy clothes and their charming language which oozes of sweet, pretty abuses like asshole, b*tch, f*ckface etc. They love to be lady like and always would slap instead of punching. That is another matter entirely that their slaps are manlier than half of the men’s punches.

The Gamer

These are the rarest yet the most sought after girlfriends out there! Usually personified by tomboys, they are a breed apart from regular girls. Their idea of a romantic date includes whooping some ass on Call of Duty to playing Super Smash Brothers in 2 player mode. They love cheap, inexpensive nerdy gifts making them the ideal teenage fantasy woman. The only downside being is that they might be a better gamer than the dude…

The Nerd

These types of girlfriends’ world start and end in books. Usually fascinated by mythical gay, shinning, homosexual vampires or shirtless morons having the atrocity to be called werewolves, they are often found arguing about which team is more pretty and shimmering. Ah but not all hope is lost many of them are also well read into other books making them immune to the immortal bullshit of shitty books. They only accept well read and articulate boyfriends with the agreement that they only would always come second to their fantasy boyfriend. How utterly realistic they are…

The Attitude Girl

These type of girlfriends think they are the world and would go all out to prove it. They make guys feel on top of the world by giving them immense joy by just saying “Hi” to them. In any room they always are the centre of attention and would prove any theory wrong that doesn’t state that the world revolves around them. Their charm and eloquence makes every guy want to give them a big free bear hug, crushing them in the process. These types of girls should stop breathing my air asap.

The Girl Who Loves to eat and admits it

Sorry, such types of girls are only mythical and can’t be found in real life.