Archive for March, 2012

Dictionary

Posted in Dev!l's Retrospect with tags , , on March 22, 2012 by Dev!l

 Writer’s Note: I’m suffering from a writer’s block along with some problems so here is just a random post I wrote. These are some of the terms in the dictionary that I really think need to be corrected while keeping in mind the flow of our current society.

Fashion

The name given to clothes when they get torn up and/or are too small for a person to wear. It may also include wearing of pants so low that everyone can see your underpants. E.g.

  1. Dude, why are you wearing your pants backwards?

It’s the latest fashion man!

Terrorism

Any act that goes against developed countries struggle to gain power even if it’s self perseverance or defense. All acts of terror are met with a righteous and holy awe from the skies above in the form of bombs. E.g.

  1. Iran is committing terrorism by standing up to America and trying to accumulate a small fraction of the nuclear power possessed by them.
  2. I don’t like him, I am the president… HE IS A TERRORIST!

Innocence

A mythical concept used to get out of trouble. Often confused with stupidity and ignorance. E.g.

  1. But your honor I am innocent! I didn’t know you couldn’t park in the no parking zone to pee at a cop car.
  2. She is so innocent that she doesn’t even know the meaning of sex. That’s another thing that she was 16 before she learnt how to wave goodbye.

Love

The craving you get when you get up in the middle of the night and realize that you must have something to fulfill your physical needs. E.g.

  1. I love food.
  2. I love Sarah.

No, wait I love Bella now, she’s hotter.

F*ck

The universal adverb, adjective, verb and pronoun that can be used to define any or all events of life. There is no real meaning of Fuck and it can be used on all occasions due to its versatility and ease of use.

e.g.

  1. That fucker got the fuck out before I came in.
  2. Fuck, I am so fucked.
  3. So what the fuck is your problem?

General Knowledge

The knowledge of everything related to showbiz related people and their pets. Spreading of this knowledge in all circles is a duty obligated upon all of us. E.g.

  1. Hey do you know what LHC is?

No, but do you know who Kim Kardashian is?

No…

Dude you don’t know anything at all! Shes …….

Vampires

A mythical being that sparkles in the sun light and is extremely gay looking, they suck blood to survive but that is no reason for all the girls in the world to stop wanting to be their girl friends. E.g.

  1. Edward

Music

A form of arts that is made by people who are deaf for the mentally retarded using computer software known as Auto Tune. Usually causes a lot of attention and coining of new terms in the English language after the good looking “genius”. E.g.

  1. Justin Beiber is a musician and his song Baby has such a deep meaning to it.

Money

The thing that makes the world go around and the source of every action by the people.

Anorexic

Looking thin and amazing for the world to see and adore. Synonyms: Sexy, Beautiful

Women

The supposed centre of the universe and any action done by men is done to impress them.

Selfish

The act of doing the right thing and thinking only about own well being as you are the most important part of this universe

Rich

Someone who has a lot of money and as stated money makes the world go around; it gives limitless power and no accountability to the person who wields a lot of it.

Corruption

A fun family game played by people in power to see who can steal the most from the public without getting caught.

Democracy

A mythical concept choked down people’s throat to make them give power to the candidates of corruption.

Homer Simpson

A person with an IQ greater than half of the world’s population.

Facebook

A place where people can gather to pretend to appreciate the mundane daily activities of each other such as going to the washroom or waking up and having breakfast.

Dog Tale

Posted in Stories. with tags , on March 11, 2012 by Dev!l

He was just another stray dog, never knew where he belonged or where he came from. All he ever sought all his life was a home, someone to love him and care for him and he thought he found it in her. She was unlike any human he had ever seen before in his life. He followed her home just because he saw what he wished. At first she like every other girl was delighted with the knowledge of a lost puppy following her home. She took care of him, fed him and gave him somewhat of a shelter in a broken wooden box. But he didn’t mind, he was finally somewhere he belonged. Someone for once wanted him in life.

As time flew by, the new puppy which was a delight slowly started to become a burden. The smile she used to have when she fed him slowly vanished. Clearly she was had started to feel jaded but she was to reluctant to admit it. Their play time soon vanished and was replaced with random practical jokes she played on him but he still didn’t care. For he knew the person who took him in was still in her somewhere. With time her jokes started to get crueler and her attention slowly shifted into her own life.

It had been years since she had actually sat next to him, patted him or hugged him. He still sat in the remains of what seemed to be the ruins of once a wooden box, more shattered than before he still didn’t care. He still wanted to remain by her side and protect her. As he stared at her, his left paw ached again. He stared at the scar of one of her practical jokes and howled in pain as it still hadn’t healed.

“Stupid dog, would you just shut up! Mum was right, should had gotten a parrot or something.”

He put her head under his paws and silently whined. Perhaps it was time for him to search for a new home or just go wandering in the streets like his childhood… He tried getting up but something was pressing him down. It was then he understood that she wasn’t someone he wanted… she had become someone he needed, she had become his obsession and now that obsession had taken over his body. He no longer was the master of his own will.

It was just another sunny day when it happened… He was out on his daily allowed walks when a car ran him over. The pain was unbearable, he knew his time had come but he didn’t want to die just yet. He wanted to see her once before he died. He tried getting up but couldn’t, the world around him slowly grew darker.

“It’s very difficult that he would survive, I would suggest that you make it easy on him and allow us to kill him.”

“Sure, go ahead. I won’t have to clean up the mess would I?”

“No, no… You’re going?”

“Yea, why?”

“Well most owners stay for the final moments…”

“Yea I would like to but I have a job that I have to attend to. I’ll pay the receptionist on the way out, don’t worry doc.”

He slowly opened his eyes for the last time as he heard her voice but it was too late, she had gone. As the doctor stood over him with an injection of poison, he stared at the door thinking that she might come back… His world slowly grew darker once again, he looked up at his killer and in his eyes he saw something he had missed for years… There was compassion and sympathy in the vet’s eyes. He slowly howled for the last time and closed his eyes forever.

Fusillading Innocence

Posted in Stories. with tags , , on March 3, 2012 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: Don’t know what I wanted to write but wrote this. Anyhow, am really happy as one of my blogs/cause got published in a national news paper yesterday! For those who care, View here!

He stared at the wall with a cold sigh, a thousand thoughts rushed to his minds as his feet got heavier and the air around him got denser. He looked around but found no sympathy in the eyes of the spectators. They were silent and seemed to stare right through him, like he didn’t even exist. There was no angry crowd or a media team ready to record his momentous words; it was nothing like in the movies he saw as a child. The room was dark and the only light was of a small window near the ceiling. He stared at the window to catch a glimpse of the sun that would set him free but it was in vain as he was pushed towards the stage. The clatter of the fetters was the only music he had heard in such a long time that he ignored the push and just smiled thinking, how there was a day when he wouldn’t have had given a damn to such a little pleasure of life.

There were a total of 7 people in the room other than him, he recognized none of them. From their uniforms some of them looked like high ranking officials but somehow it didn’t matter to him, not anymore. For now he knew that one day nothing would matter and they would all be equal 6 feet under. He was to die a nameless death but it didn’t matter anymore… “It was worth it”, he thought as he stood on the marked spot. His shackles were removed and set aside. As he caressed his aching wrists he heard one of them whisper something. “You know it’s rude to whisper in a” but he was silenced with a punch to the stomach before he could finish his sentence. He smiled how they still couldn’t hear the truth.

 “Any last words or regrets?” he heard one of them ask in a sneerful voice

“Those who seek forgiveness for their sins have regrets. Those who are in the right have no regrets or sorrows, General. Today you pass your judgment on me; tomorrow God will pass judgment on you. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, from this Earth we all come and to it we shall all return.”

“Still stuck on your ideals I see? Corporal…”

He stared at the first rays of dawn as a blindfold was placed around his eyes.

“Lieutenant Ray, you have been accused of mutiny and treason. You have been sentenced to be shot at sunrise by the Military court of…”

“Save me the speech…” He said as he closed his eyes beneath the blindfold and thought of his life.

The speaker however chose to ignore his taunt and carried on. After a few moments he stopped. Ray knew it was time for he could feel the warmth of the sun on the horizon, ready to grant him his freedom.

“READYY!!!” He heard the shout

“TAKE AIMM!!!”

Ray smiled as he thought about his ideals, the revolution and pumped out his chest in arrogance.

“FIREEE!!!”

Dozens of bullets passed through his body into the wall but he didn’t feel any pain… There was nothing but nirvana.