Archive for December, 2012

Nostalgic Quips

Posted in Nostalgic Quips on December 15, 2012 by Dev!l

Usually I do these one at a time but then again no one gives a crap so why bother with explanations?

Quip 1:

It was the end of our midterm examinations, so naturally we were feeling the need to party but the only down side was that it was raining in winters… But was that going to stop us? NO! We decided what the heck yolo and whatever crap young people say, besides one friend was bugging our ears all week that he wanted American Chop Suey. So, we got on bikes and went to a restraint while it poured down on us from the heavens above.

The moment was quite remarkable when we all walked into the restaurant drenching with water as the entire staff along with the 3 – 4 couples already seated just stared at us. We found a table and ordered American Chop Suey despite 2 of us wanting to order Chow Mein. Soon, our order arrived and the guy who apparently loved Chop Suey just stared at the dish before him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked

“What’s this?”

“What you ordered? What you were yammering about for the past week”

“No… I wanted that noodles type thing with prawns and chicken.”

… Really should I continue?

Quip 2:

Since this is a diary sort of boring post so yea, during the exams, one day we all were sitting outside in the parking lot preparing for the exam about to take place in an hour when we saw a cute girl walking around with what seemed to be a non attractive guy.

“What the hell? We aren’t dead! Seriously what’s wrong with her choice” One of my classmates remarked

“Yea totally!”

“Well if you have a problem why don’t you go tell her?” I remarked and went back to revising

But little did I know my remark became the spark to a fire as all of the guys around me starting arguing that who should go tell her that. Oh before continuing any further it is to be noted that I am considered very introvert in my university. So, someone remarked: “Hey lets have Waleed Bhai do it”

“Huh? Do what?”

“Ask her couldn’t she find anyone better?”

“What’s in it for me?” I joked

“A coke!”

“I don’t drink soft drinks mate”

“Chicken Karahi!”

“Hmm…” I looked up at the girl who was now sitting alone at a distance, the guy was gone by now.

“So who’s going to give me the food if I do this?” I asked

After 4 minutes of debate a guy stepped up.

“Oh wait, I don’t like Chicken Karahi”

“Don’t worry I’ll buy a plate of Biryani”

I closed my notes got up and started walking towards the girl with the guy who I was apparently betting against following behind me softly speaking about how I couldn’t tell her that it’s a bet or anything. This is the conversation that took place

“Excuse me”


“Umm, if you don’t mind can I say something?”


“Well, you see those guys behind me, they all consider themselves to be heroes and they all want to know, couldn’t you find someone better?”

The girl was taken aback but managed a smile and replied, “He’s my friend”

I turned around towards my friend and smiled whose only response was, “Fine you win”

Quip 3:

Two years back I went to an intra university/college science exhibition to represent my department with a friend. Now the teacher assigned to us was what you call a person whose not worthy of being named a teacher. He was the epitome of cheapness and a master pervert but ah well we were stuck with him.

So, the first day after setting up we went back to the room to find the teacher with 2 kids from a different university, who he was apparently tutoring about “their” science project. My friend pointed towards the door but I said wait and pointed towards my cellphone signaling that I’ll text you the reason.

 Now, I wanted to text my friend that lets stick around to check up on the creep and make sure he doesn’t ask the guests to bring him something to drink or eat. I typed my message, “Stay, In say yeh bottle na pi lay” (Translation: Stay so he doesn’t ask them for a soda) and sent the sms.

Seconds later my teacher’s phone beeped indicating he had a message as I stared down at my cell phone’s screen in horror… Needless to say, many lame excuses afterwards I found myself just 2 marks short of an A+ in his course next semester…