Archive for July, 2013

And the senseless rant continues

Posted in Rants on July 29, 2013 by Dev!l

You know what? I am dead tired of the intellectual morons of this nation. Too long have I tried long and hard to ignore and be the better person but quite frankly, stupidity knows no bounds. Yes, I know there will be those of you who would be going “Oh, keep yapping no one cares.” Well news flash sweety, neither do I.

In any case it is kind of ironic that I am willing to use the term “a nation” for a bunch of nitwits who call themselves everything but one. Apparently, we are everything from a Punjabi to a Lahori to a Karachite but a Pakistani. Quite frankly, it is the first country that I have seen where people discriminate on each other not on the basis of religion or the color of your skin but on your language. Yes we are just so cool like that.

Don’t get me wrong, you get used to being called as a senseless villager or “Punjabi dugga” (Punjabi beast) after a few years of training but one thing you can’t get used to is the sheer amount of love people throw at you. Truly the amount of love in this country is only surpassed by the amount of love KKK clan possesses for the African Americans.

Oh but that is not the only thing we should or are famous for. We are apparently great at cooking up conspiracy theories. Oh wait, I mean we are great at discovering the truth! Remember when they said, “Everything is not what it seems”? Well, that is the dogma of this great and glorious nation. Oh and before you think about presenting any facts to our faces, let me be kind enough to remind you “Facts are for fascist bastards!” My most favorite example for this just has to be a very famous theory about our current President. It is said that he used to sell tickets in front of the Bambino Cinema Karachi and after many years of corruption, he found his way to the seat of power. Quite frankly I am a fan of this story as it talks about a young man who was born into poverty and found his way to extreme riches with his will to survive! Way to go! Kudos! Only one problem though, the father of the president owned the Cinema, so apparently our president was born into a very poor family who owned one of the largest cinemas in Pakistan at that time along with a 10 canal villa. He was so poor that even his driver and servants used to sell tickets in black in front of that cinema! Way to go man!

Oh but the theories don’t stop there. In fact, even in letters published by known terrorists to Malala we tend to find the parts which make the terrorists sound like a better person! Yes, our conspiracy theories allow us to love! So shame on you Malala for letting people hate on someone who has killed dozens of people by his own hands! There is so much good inside him! BOO MALALA!

Yes, indeed we are a glorious nation! So open minded about religion and politics that we are always looking for people to challenge our opinions! In fact, we are so curious about any thought that doesn’t match our own that we just want to take iron rods and try to get into that person’s head… literally and you people have the courage to call us barbarians? Rubbish I tell you, Rubbish! Which other country have you ever heard of where minorities apply for asylum in other countries? They just can’t take our love! They know that we will just hug and kiss to death! Bloody western media having the nerves to call us religious zealots! All conspiracies I tell you!

Oh but wait don’t get me wrong, there are many liberals in our great country as well! Liberals who will debate intellectually on various hard hitting topics that plague our nation such as piracy and homosexuality. If that isn’t enough for them they will talk long and hard into the night about how a racial murder carried out in the US was wrong or justified. I mean, for a country whose 2/3rd population literally scavenges to find the basic human needs such as clean water, a solution to their hunger etc. or a country which is plagued by a corrupt and decadent political system, topics such as piracy and homosexuality are the main things to talk about. Why bother with people whose greatest possession is a goat or water that tastes sweet? Down to hell with them! It’s their own bloody damned fault that they were born in poverty! Let’s just organize our Model United Nations and talk about how we the kids of today can change the world tomorrow if we were the president of USA or something.

Usually people make fun of me for saying things like these but quite honestly I have met people in my various travels around the country that had it much worse. I have met with people who spend half of their day in search of clean water. I have met a boy who at the age of 18 had first time seen a banana. I have met with people to whom the existence of rivers is nothing but a myth. So yea, make fun of me all you want but the truth remains that we have failed as a nation. Our leaders instead of playing nice just love to put blames on everyone else. In a 5 year tenure, the only thing you get to hear is how the previous party had messed things up so badly and how they were the messiahs that were out to save us. Perhaps that’s why no single party has won an election twice in one row in Pakistan. Oh and before you start taking party names who have changed the nation let me tell you one thing, changing the outlook of the major cities does nothing! The above mentioned people come from all across Pakistan but then again what do I know? I am not someone who appears on TV, so my opinion matters as much as how wrong your girlfriend is during an argument.

So on that comical note, I would just like to say that we are nothing but people who are full of love, compassion and hope. We are the best we can be and that is what we will always believe. So, keep calm and let people like me talk to the walls.