Archive for the Interviews Category

An Interview with MUK

Posted in Interviews on June 2, 2009 by Dev!l

(WARNING: THIS INTERVIEW IS RATED 16 FOR THE USE OF EXCESSIVE ABUSES AND MENTION TO LADIES AND GENTS UNDERGARMENTS… READING DISCRETION IS ADVISED BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ IT THEN GO AHEAD BECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU IS THAT INNOCENT 😛 Oh and this interview is also rated B due to the fact that its extremely boring!!)

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame and Monsieurs, Smee again… Now yes I know this is going to be one boring interview but just deal with it… its not like you have anything better to do… if you did then I don’t think you will be here wasting your time reading this! So, today the person who is going to bore me to death is Mr. Usman Khan.

Me: Asslam o Allikum (Oh brother here we go again -.-‘)

Muk: Waleikum salam

Me: Your name please…

Muk: Usman Khan

Me: Lets get one thing clear, when I ask you your name it means it’s for the audience and not for me, I already know your name so you just can’t go around changing it you dumb shit! Now what is your full name?

Muk: Muhammad Usman Khan

Me: Now, that’s better ^^ Now what do your friends call you as?

Muk: usman… muk *Dramatic pause* and yea…there another…mani (wow, again this is an interview not a crummy soap opera. Seriously, the idiots I have to interview!)

Me: Well, where there are friends there are enemies… what do your enemies call you?

Muk: well….usman …”KHHan”

Me: *yawning with interest* So, who are these enemies?

Muk: well…latest reports confirm that waby hates me… (wow, thank you for sharing that with us… Mr. George Loserton -.-‘)

Me: So why does she hate you?

Muk: She found out I was impotent.

Me: *falls of his chair…* What the hell? You are impotent?

Muk: Yes, I am pretty impotent.

Me: When did you come to know?

Muk: When she stole my underwear. (ME = o.o)

Me: Uhhh… Not to interfere in your personal life but why did she do that?

Muk: I kiss(ed) the sausage. (Hey, this is a family show!… oh wait it isn’t continue :P)

Me: What sausage?

Muk: The one on the underwear.

Me: Wow, fancy underwear… no wonder it must be a gift.

Muk: Yes.

Me: Who gave it to you?

Muk: Salman and Ghania.

Me: That all or did waby say something to you too when she stole your fancy underwear?

Muk: Yes.

Me: What?

Muk: “usman …”KHHan” You don’t even deserve my [beep].”

Me: Uh… On second thought… I don’t wish to investigate this matter any more.

Muk: *Whispers* Do you like naughty stuff?

Me: Don’t make me call security bub… you are here to give an interview so just give it and go!

Muk: *starts singing* tera naam [beep] par likhker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *gets up in disgust* I think I need a break! (Before you people start assuming, the lyrics are tera naam HATHELI per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun =P)

—–

*Me comes back after puking a couple of times, washing his eyes, face and only due to the fact that I have to finish what I started… oh and after confirming that muk doesn’t have my name imprinted on his hand!!!!*

Me: Ok, so I hope the break cleared your head.

Muk: Yes.

Me: So, care to share some incident of your life that left a deep impact on your life?

Muk: oh yea….well moh offered a [beep] if I contributed 50 rs.

Me: Uh… So did you finish it?

Muk: well…no, it was….a big one you know

Me: So you mean to say you couldn’t finish one [beep]? (Yes, I know you have a dirty mind =P)

Muk: Yes. It was so hard to push it down my throat. (Now just put zinger[the original word] in place of the beep and then read it again… 😛 Now, do you see what a dirty mind do you have?)

Me: Wow princess… you can’t even eat one zinger…

Muk: I am impotent.

Me: Yes, how can I forget? So tell me… how many girl friends do you have?

Muk: 2.5

Me: Excuse me? 2.5? Name them please.

Muk: Komal, Ghania and Bryan Adams.

Me: Uh, who’s the 0.5?

Muk: Bryan Adams.

Me: Write so care to describe them?

Muk: Well… they are… hot…spicy…juicy…desperate with extra cheese toppings.

Me: No no no… Sorry lord I asked him that question… I didn’t need those visuals… So, since we are talking about girls… how would you describe your ideal girl?

Muk: Ghania. (true love o.o)

Me: seriously you are slower than a bunch of turtles stampeding through peanut butter mate… Describe Ghania.

Muk: Cute…Honest…Caring (This one is the truth!)

Me: So what attracted you to her in the first place?

Muk: She is a geek.

Me: Wow, you are boring me you know that?

Muk: Yes.

Me: So how old are you?

Muk: well…how old do you want me to be? (Original dialogue)

Me: Look mate, I am a straight guy so stop freaking hitting on me!

Muk: *sad puppy face* 19

Me: And in these 19 years have u accomplished something worth talking about?

Muk: I wait(ed) a min.

Me: Uh… for what?

Muk: kissy from Ghania.

Me: So, care to tell some interesting fact about yourself?

Muk: m wearing….a dress pant n a dress shirt.

Me: Yes, I can see that you dumb shit… anything else?

Muk: ghania is the first girl to kiss me.

Me: *dozing off with boredom…* uh right, so tell me what your life ambition is?

Muk: I wanna buy a vest and a baba

Me: A baba? As in an old man?

Muk: Yes.

Me: Why the hell do you want an old man?

Muk: well….generally it is believed that they aren’t CHEAP…..but I have found that at least they are CHEAPER than gals….

Me: EWW… you disgust me to the core… but since we are at the last let me just ask you some random things. Mughees in his underwear or Mohsin in leaves?

Muk: Mohsin in leaves, I like beauty in raw natural form (True dialogue)

Me: Right, before we go, you used some difficult words so what dictionary would you suggest our users?

Muk: well…oxford is good for English and feroz ul lugat for English (True Dialogue… Feroz ul Lughat is for URDU YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT! And you write! Seriously -.-‘)

Me: Well thank you for boring me… Now you can leave…

Muk: *grabs the mike and starts singing* tera naam hatheli per likh ker usay chumti rehti hun

Me: *calls security*

Muk:*screams as the security guard drag him away* this was for you… komal, mohsin, salman and my love ghania.

Me: Well, first of all I am really sorry folks to have made you go through this boring interview… but ah well… that’s all, your torture ends here. Goodbye and next time hopefully I will be back with a good interview.

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An Interview with AJ

Posted in Interviews on March 10, 2009 by Dev!l

(WARNING: THIS INTERVIEW IS RATED 16 FOR THE USE OF EXCESSIVE ABUSES AND MENTION TO LADIES AND GENTS UNDERGARMENTS… READING DISCRETION IS ADVISED BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ IT THEN GO AHEAD  BECAUSE I KNOW NONE OF YOU IS THAT INNOCENT :P)

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Madame and Monsieurs, Smee again…  And here I am despite your criticism and booing to bring you yet another interview… I know you hate me and guess what I hate you too now why don’t you go try bungee jumping without a bungee. Anyhow, you have the basic concept of what I do so, I wont waste my oh so precious time in explaining to you dung brains what I do, so today its going to be Mr. Asjad Saleemi on the HOT SEAT. So, give it up for Mr. Asjad Saleemi (that means start clapping you morons).

Me: Salam

Aj: Wasalam (wow we have a Muslim amongst us who replies a Salam with a Wallaikum Salam and not Hi :P)

 

Me: What is your name?

 

Aj: *settles his shirt* (wow -.-‘ you do that before the interview begins you dumb shit) Cesc Asjad Saleemi(wow and people ask how is the western society destroying our own… JUST TAKE A LOOK AT HIS FREAKING NAME!)

 

Me: So Mr. Asjad Saleemi, what do your friends call you as?

 

AJ: AJ, Aju, XJ, Adebayor, Kishwi, Hen, Khota.  oh and.. ahem Chuchu, Mota And hero

 

Me: I am sorry to interrupt but I asked for your nickname not your life history mate. So Shut it. Anyhow, who calls you Khota, Kishwi and a Hen o.o

 

Aj: Kishwi and Hen= My sisters. Khota= my cousins (WTH IS A KISHWI)

 

Me: Ok… So how old are you?

 

Aj: Seven-teen (interesting way of saying it)

 

Me: So, how many friends do you have?

 

Aj: I don’t count my friends. I don’t need to. (so want a noble prize for that asshole?)

 

Me: Uh, ok. Describe your so called friends first go for the friends who are girls and then boys.

 

Aj: Girls? Like Boys, some are good. Some are bad. ALL are a  drag

 

Me: and boys?

 

Aj: My brothers. My jiggers.  A word for all the boys

 “Jo dost LARKAY ho saktay hain, woh KABHI LARKIYAN NAHEEN HO SAKTEEN, SO DONT DITCH UR FRIENDS WHO ARE BOYS FOR GIRLS NO MATTER HOW CHEESY THE GIRL CAN GET. LARKAY ARE TRUE FRIENDS.”(That was a paragraph you dodo head not a word) In a totally gayish way (uhh… wow gay -.-‘)

 

Me:  Right… gay… So I hear you are pretty intimate with some friends…

 

Aj: I am intimate with a lot of friends in a lot of special ways.

 

Me: define your special ways

 

Aj: a friend of me.  I am pretty intimate with him. He’s one of my best friends, but also my love guru who advices me on the love situations so he’s up close personal with me that’s one category

 

Me: Uh, again didn’t ask for his life story. Move on.

 

Aj: the other is, a sister I CAN FLIRT WITH (wow flirting with his sister o.o)

 

Me: tell us about this sister

 

Aj: She is a best friend. Very close. Haven’t seen her in real. She’s a best friend first, then a sister. Claims I filled the gap of a brother in her life. She’s a sister I can flirt with.  (Wow, never knew they came in flavors. So you just go and ask for a sister you can flirt with?:P)

 

Me: So in these seventeen of your existence have you done something that you are proud of?

 

Aj: I abused a girl and I scored a goal with my BUTT, while playing football. (uh wow haven’t you been living your life to the fullest… Your life is complete now go die :P)

Me: So what is the happiest moment of your life?

Aj: When I scored the goal against the team I had a fight with. Rivals and it was the winning goal and it was just an awesome experience. P.S: CHIKS WERE WATCHING THE MATCH

 

Me: Interesting life. So you love football?

 

Aj: I don’t love it. It’s just my hobby, Sir.

 

Me: Oh any other hobbies?

 

Aj: (beep)ing and Music.

 

Me: Wow, so do you (beep) someone? Or just watch.

 

Aj: Professionally? No.

 

Me: And for fun?

 

Aj: Yes, as long as I don’t hurt.

 

Me: Who do you (beep) with?

 

Aj: My Pillow.

 

Me: (laughs) so who usually is on top

 

Aj: *settles his shirt* ahem.. My Pillow. (That’s just sad)

 

Me: Uh, other than that have you ever (beep)ed someone else like a girl?

 

Aj: No

 

Me: Uh… who would be the dream person for you to you know get ahem with…

 

Aj: Adebayor

 

Me: That TMI dude… Anyhow speaking of Adebayor, which position do you play in?

 

Aj: Usually I am the one fucking and banging my football.

 

Me: Uh… interesting o.o So you really want to reveal your intimate life?

 

Aj: yah

 

Me: Fine then, do you have dirty dreams?

 

Aj: yah

 

Me: Oh of who?

 

Aj: MOHSIN and arfat

 

Me: uhh… I am going to hate to be asking you this but what are they doing or wearing that makes it a dirty dream?

 

Aj: MOHSIN IS IN HIS BRA

 

Me: Uh… dude that’s one visual I really don’t want stop right there. Um, just for general knowledge, Mohsin in his Undies or Nighty?

 

Aj: MOHSIN IN HIS BRA (this question is genuine :P)

 

Me: Just out of curiosity, why only boys? Why not girls?

 

Aj: Jo LARKAY ho saktay hain, woh KABHI LARKIYAN NAHEEN HO SAKTEEN.

 

Me: Uh, and when did you realize that?

 

Aj: I entered my academy went to the table tennis room. This guy was standing here out of no where he pulled out his shorts and showed his ASS COMPLETELY.

 

Me: And what did you do?

 

Aj: PAPPIIIII

 

Me: You mean you kissed his ass?

 

Aj: yah

 

Me: So I should assume you are gay?

 

Aj: you don’t need to assume. I am gay.

 

Me: Right, so any last words for your friends?

 

Aj: “I LOVE YOU” all in a totally gayish way

 

Me: Right, so I guess this is it.

 

Aj: *grabs the interviewer’s COLLAR.* say GAY. FOR LIFE. FOREVER. FOR ETERNITY

 

Me: *gets scared and yells* GAY. FOR LIFE. FOREVER. FOR ETERNITY

 

Aj: yay

 

Me: Right, now. So this is it for this interview… *me calls security to have the mad man removed* Goodbye ladies and gentleman, sorry this interview was so short but due to unforeseen circumstances I need to go and burn this shirt bye bye.

An Interview With Waby

Posted in Interviews on March 7, 2009 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentleman, Madams and Monsieurs, it brings me great pleasure to be hosting this show for the people. (Yea now please all of you go jump off a cliff) Anyhow today it brings me great delight to be taking the interview of the one the only, the glamorous, the gorgeous and the simply divine … oh wait our intended guest for this evening couldn’t make it so we have the not so glamorous Miss Wahabna Ehsan Malik instead. Sucks, I know 😛 but ah well I gotta keep the show going. So please give it up for Miss Wahabna. (Wouldn’t blame you people if you don’t go all ecstatic :P)

Me: Madam, what is your name

 

RD: full name? (Well news flash sweetie… This is an interview, SO YES I WANT YOUR FULL NAME!)

 

Me: Yes

RD: Wahabna Ehsan Malik

 

Me: And what do your friends call you as?

RD: all of the nicks?

Me: unless they changed the English language nicknames used to mean more than one

RD: I have countless. I’ll tell u the recent ones

 

Me: tell the top one instead.

 

RD: Chu Chu, Waby, Wahab bhai, Wabz

 

Me: (Waiting for the so called infinite list to get over…) Huh wow what a long list of countless nicks you have. Moving on, who dubbed you as Wahab bhai?

 

RD: My class fellows, Male ones. I hate them all!

Me: Ladies and gentlemen please give a big hand for her class mates for their unprecedented creativity.

 

RD: I HATE YOU WALEED KHALID! mar jao! x.x

 

Me: you are full of so much hatred. Why?

 

RD: hatred for? (Yes, we know your slow but you actually don’t have to prove it -.-‘)

 

Me: well first you hate your class mates, then you hate me and God knows what else.

 

RD: oh you mean people? (No, I was talking about cars -.-‘)

 

Me: yes

 

RD: I hate people usually

 

Me: I asked why not who (I always thought no one was this dumb… I stand corrected now.)

 

RD: okay first…I usually hate the people who’re my friends. On a personal level… I like it when people are on my opposite. In fact, sorry, friends.

 

Me: Oh I am dark love me I am dark -.-‘

 

RD: (still continuing to blabber :P) so if they can’t stay on the opposite and chipkofye I’ll help myself then!

 

Me: Uh, I didn’t ask for your life story, moving on, Miss Wahabna Ehsan Malik, tell me, what is your age? Because there are a lot of controversies on this issue

 

RD: x.x officially… ITS 17! Seventeen! S-e-v-e-n-t-e-en (Wow you know how to spell, whoop de doo for you. Another contender for the Nobel Prize -.-‘)

 

Me: and unofficially?

 

RD: woh you ask other bongay log! Who are actually bothered by my age!

 

Me: in these 17, so to speak, years are there any accomplishments worth talking about? (17, yea right :P)

 

RD: yes, maybe many…

 

Me: Please share some

RD: okay! ^^ I made this drawing and the topic was what makes me happy… I won the first prize. I was the youngest one in the competition.

 

Me: so what did you make?

 

RD: I made my friends

 

Me: wow that is sweet. boohoo I need a tissue now. So who hosted this competition?

 

RD: Red Crescent society people hosted it. So as a youngster… I did something.

 

Me: so how did you feel at that moment?

 

RD: when I drew the thing…I never knew I was going to win something. (So, usually people know in advance they are going to win? Wow) but when I got the calendar over which the drawing was actually printed…I felt proud! I still have that Red Crescent calendar ^^ *whispers* winners drawing had to get printed on a calendar.

 

Me: Everyone isn’t as dumb as you, so I think they can figure that much out by themselves. So, any other accomplishment you are really proud of?

 

RD: yes, I ate 4 apples today!

 

Me: truly an astonishing thing to do. However did you manage it?

 

RD: ______u. Fill in the blank.

 

Me: No, need to get angry. So ever been on stage other than to sweep it clean?

 

RD: yes! x.x

 

Me: oh what for?

 

RD: it was for a patriotic thingy. Paki thing (well you are a Pakistani, so I am thinking if you do a patriotic thing IT WILL BE FOR PAKISTAN AND NOT FOR INDIA -.-‘) I was the MOM! x.x

 

Me: I wonder why they picked you of all the people…

 

RD: b/c I was loud and bossy! (What do you mean was?)

 

Me: any moment in your life that you felt really happy?

 

RD: I dun remember. Recent, please?

 

Me: sure why not -.-‘ it’s not like I am taking an interview here.

 

RD: when I was sending a birthday card to a friend….for the first time in my entire life! woh bhi outside city! I’ve never done that ^^ (uh so do you want a Nobel Prize for that now?)

 

Me: I hear you have a so called “lovely” sis, so with what nicks does your sis call you by?

 

RD: CENSORED, bitch, Kamini.

 

Me: uh, this is a family show so let’s just skip this. So, what do you call your sis by?

 

RD: ullo ki [beep], khoti, darling (wow darling lmao xD)

 

Me: I hear you collect some “things”, so care to tell the audience what do you collect?

 

RD: Barbies and their clothes! ^^

 

Me: Now, lets move on to your personal life. How many people have proposed you?

 

RD: in school 15-16 people… on net… umm…. 8-10.

 

Me: I hear some of them were girls, so how many girls are we talking about here?

 

RD: umm….16 (wow o.o amazing :P)

 

Me: So did you say yes to any of those girls?

 

RD: duh!                

 

Me: Oh to whom?

 

RD: tj, soni, bushy, mano…

 

Me: Uh why 4 girls?

 

RD: I love em! ^^

 

Me: So how do you find them looks wise?

 

RD: HILARIOUS!

 

Me: uh ok. So you are saying you love 4 girls?

 

RD: Well… screw the third one

 

Me: Ahem, so kissed any one of them?

 

RD: nae woh nae bataun gi! Personal hai! x.x

 

Me: Well my sources clearly say you did.

 

RD: CENSORED. nae bata sakti

 

Me: Oh wow. So what did you say after the kiss was over?

 

RD: Ouch. (uhhhhh)

 

Me: Okkk… Just a fun question ever found a guy sexy in lingerie?

 

RD: dah!

 

Me: Who?

 

RD: crabbie

 

Me: No further fun questions from you. So what is the most fun moment of your life that u can remember?

 

RD: fun? Many, I’ll tell u three

 

Me: Sure, I wait with baited breath.

 

RD: one that convo (sure that convo, everyone knows that convo -.-‘ moron)T n T(she means

truth and truth not tri nitro toluene). Me and my friends played it till 7:00 am in the morning.

One fun moment was the excursion which I had with my school recently had a lot of fun!

^^3rd… collecting barbies and their clothes! ^^

 

Me: I hear you have visited many countries, so just out of curiosity, who are the most stupid of

people you have ever met?

 

RD: karachiites (Just because you are stupid doesn’t mean they are :P)

 

Me: Speaking of travelling, I hear you visit beauty parlor on a regular basis.

 

RD: duh!

 

Me: Uh, why?

 

RD: there’s a thing called having FUN

 

Me: Sure that does explain a lot, moving on to the end of this interview, do you have any thing to say to your friends?

 

RD: I hate you and umm… I am [beep] stuff

 

Me: Thank you, there you have it ladies and gentlemen. Please, give a big hand for Miss Wahabna Ehsan Malik for this interview. Join us again next time. Until then, goodbye. (Jack asses =D)

An Interview With Mughy

Posted in Interviews on March 7, 2009 by Dev!l

Writer’s Note: This interview is heavily edited; it may sound bogus to you. But to me it’s a link between me and the friend I conducted the interview of. Anyhow, by editing I meant, the answers of some questions are shuffled to make the interview fun but rest assured I didn’t answer any of the questions myself I just took his answers and pasted them as the answer of some other question. Also, I have censored some random words with beeps as well. And as always in the bracket you will find what I truly think.

Ladies and Gentleman, Madams and Monsieurs it brings me great pleasure to be hosting this show for the people. (Yea now please all of you go jump off a cliff) Anyhow today it brings me great pleasure to be taking the interview of Mr. Mughees Ilyas. (Pleasure indeed, now my life is complete and I can die happy -.-‘) So please give a big hand to oh I meant for Mr. Mughees Ilyas.

Me: What is your name?

Mz: the last time I remembered it was Mughees Ilyas (so you can actually remember stuff? Good for you, you deserve a noble prize for that … dumbshit)

 

Me: Oh so when was this last time?

 

Mz: today morning ^_^ when I was roll called by teacher. He said ROLL no 34 Mughees Ilyas.34 is my roll number. So I am assuming my name is Mughees Ilyas (Wow so you can remember your roll no. but not your name… you really are a moron aren’t you)

 

Me: so what nicks do you have?

 

Mz: uh from the start in my school my friends used to call me lallu *whispers*yea I know I am opening my own secrets. (Oh wow this secret is even greater than the ones “ill tell you but then ill have to kill you” ones.) When I came on net I got a nick DS then in college I got 2 nicks Roxxy and MZ.

 

Me: Wow, so tell us the story of lallu.

 

Mz: nothing specific. I was the sleepy head of my class so they start calling me lallu for my laziness and sleepiness (wow what an entertaining story…)

 

Me: (wakes up) Oh you answered. So do you have any enemies?

Mz: hmm let me count and remember them all

 

Me: ok sure. (Who does he think he is? Adolf Hitler?)

 

Mz: well yea I don’t have any enemy but I am an enemy of many

 

Me: oh and who are u the enemy of?

 

Mz: well there are ummm some people from college and school time. Don’t know why but they like to mess with me (uh that makes them your enemy not the other way around you big dib shit -.-‘)

 

Me: so tell me, how old are you?

 

Mz: in birth certificate i am 16. In real I am 17 and from mind I am 11 ^_^ (Either way still are an asswipe.)

 

Me: wow so should I go ahead and add them all up?

 

Mz: I don’t wana give competition to asthi and soni. They are the oldies ^_^

 

Me: Wow. That was a snappy comeback. Why are you so hostile to them?

 

Mz: hmm *rolls eye* (I asked for the answer, not a circus trick)

 

Me: well

 

Mz hey I need time to [beep]. I don’t want them to fire me or kill me

 

Me: wow wake me up when your done -.-‘

 

Mz: wait 5 min bathroom break (so he needs to go to the loo to think wow.)

                                   

                                    After half an hour

           

Mz: I’m back

 

Me: wow short bathroom break. Did u get stuck in there?

 

Mz: no, light was not working then I thought “hmm this world is beautiful if u want to see the beauty open your eyes with mobile light. (Uh dude that is too much information like seriously.)

 

Me: Ahuh, so why are u so hostile?

 

Mz: well I am not hostile to them I am like that with everyone (oh so you act like an asshole everywhere)

 

Me: by the way did you wash your hands?

 

Mz: yea I washed my hands, hold still this is the only headache remedy I know (wow a new therapy for head aches o.o)

 

Me: good so tell me in your uhh 11 years of age have u ever accomplished anything? (Even though I don’t believe you, I think mentally your one year old :P)

 

Mz: hmm went Saudi 3 times couple of times to different European countries wasted lots of foreign currency on dm and Pokémon cards was committed seriously for once umm 3 car accidents  2 bone fractures and 2  [beep accidents.

 

Me: you were committed?

 

MZ: yea well I was committed many times but 1 time was serious commitment

 

Me: would you like to share how did it end?

 

Mz: well all that is almost 2 year old stuff. She become too possisive ( hope i spell it correctly)[well guess what dumb shit… you didn’t :P] every single damn noob in my circle know that.

 

Me: so you said, “Every noob in the circle knows” so who are the noobs in the circle?

 

Mz: you and Ashar 

 

Me: and what do you mean by noobs

 

Mz: idiots and bafoons, want more explanation?

 

Me: No I want to die by banging my head thank you. Tell me have you ever felt jealous of anyone?

 

Mz: uh yea, 2 or 3 times

 

Me: So, who are they?

 

Mz: hmm Mano and Ghania O___________O (No, he is not having a blonde moment, this is his natural look.)

 

Me: When?

 

Mz: umm chocolate and cake. One time I was out of chocolate and Ghania had some chocolates and we were [beep] on phone I was soo jealous >_< and other time Mano had a cake a [beep] (another system error :P) cake >_< I wanted it so badly. I was jealous of u too >.>

 

Me: why?

 

Mz: because you are soo cute

 

Me: so do you want to die now or should i wait till later

 

Mz: you should wait till u finish my inter VIEW

 

Me: so Mr. Mughees. Tell me about this circle of friends of yours

 

Mz: well bunch of idiots, psychos and showoffs are gathered together for wasting time. hmm some nerds too. (Takes one to know one mate)

 

Me: A brave man you are. Every circle has a black sheep someone who doesn’t belong yet still is there. Who’s this black sheep in your circle?

 

Mz: umm hmm well the black sheep is already out i suppose it was Rameez I am trying to be on safe side ^_^ (now its too late buddy, all of us are already sharpening our axes :P) or its ME who don’t belong to the circle

 

Me: and why do you think you don’t belong?

 

Mz: don’t know (if you don’t know then why the hell are you even saying it.. dumb shit) sometimes I feel I don’t belong to this world that’s another matter that every friend of mine is from outer space but I am from different galaxy (uh yea I always knew our galaxy was incapable of producing morons like you)

 

Me: so have you ever walked in a room and forgot what you went there for?

 

Mz: uh lots of time v.v (That confirms it … you really are a MORON)

 

Me: so what is one thing u are most proud of in your life

 

Mz: hmmm, I am proud of my friends ^_^ my life revolves around friends. So I am proud of them (there, there buddy should I get you a tissue now? Emo kid)

 

Me: should I start crying now?

 

Mz: no ^_^ u should be proud of your self

 

Me: anyhow in your circle of friends who do you think is the most prettiest of the girls

 

Mz: you want me to lie?

 

Me: enough said

 

Mz: that’s the forbidden word for girls in our circle -,-;

 

Me: oh so you think they all are ugly?

 

Mz: hmm no, they are not ugly. They are just as good as girls from my college or girls of my family

 

Me: what do you think of girls from your college?

 

Mz: irritating bitchi chipko and umm quite friendly (read the last three lines carefully :P)

 

Me: Is there something special about your friends?

 

Mz: they are my friends isn’t it enough for specialty (humble isn’t he?)

 

Me: so tell me what are your future goals?

 

Mz: BBA from Lahore (hopefully) Computer engineering from London

 

Me: moving on have you ever kissed a girl or gotten kissed by one?

 

Mz: Yes well not the French kiss sort of kiss but it was a (beep).

 

Me: I hear you write a lot

 

Mz: I do write but subject matters

 

Me: so what is the subject you write about?

 

Mz: I love to write about my friends I love to write about nature and sorrow and i love to write about  Islamic things that have been challenged by non Muslims like an answer  i love to write stories sometime I write about  politics in Pakistan I also write a diary.

 

Me: Any subject you really are awesome writing about?

 

Mz: undies *whispers* have a blog for that

 

Me:  Do you have anything to say to your friends?

 

Mz: hmm yea maybe, stay as you are. I don’t like changes I know the damn old saying, “People do change with time” but I don’t want anyone of u to change with time 

P.S.: shape shifting is not an option

 

Me: pretty demanding are u not

 

Mz: yea I am. Oh and I have a theory to present.

 

Me: Go on

 

Mz: our circle is full of emos.

 

Me: Any wishes in life?

 

Mz: for the first time I want someone certain to be my friend

 

Me: Who?

 

Mz: Arfat

 

Me: what do you think about girls?

 

Mz: Girls are martins that can shape-shift their body and mind at anytime they want and as they want   so “girls are shape-shifters”

 

Me: Wow broken hearted, aren’t you? :p

 

Mz: hmm yea maybe

 

Me: So has your bad experience with girls has turned you towards the other side of the fence? (For stupid people… are you gay?)

 

Mz: umm every body knows.

 

Me: So do you have a crush?

 

Mz: yea maybe

 

Me: who?

 

Mz: umm every body knows the name why asking again and again.

 

Me: When did I ask? If I did, I am sorry but please repeat the name.

 

Mz: Arfat

 

Me: A personal question, but does Kashif look better in his undies or in his nighty? (this question and answer is almost unedited! I Swear 😛 i just changed the question but the theme of the question remained the same)

 

Mz: Undies

 

Me: before I go, I must ask. What do you think about love?

 

Mz: hmm, when 2 people want to waste their life they love v.v it is an emotion that can be used as a weapon and later on can be suicidal. Love is sweet at start and sour at end. If you think of it you will love it. If u fall for it u are done

 

Me: Any last words before I end this interview?

 

Mz: I think you are cute

 

Me: uh are you hitting on me?

 

Mz: and I love u all (my friends)

 

Well ladies and gentlemen this was Mr. Mughess Ilyas. Hope you got bored, now go buzz off. 😛